The 53rd Regiment would like to wish our subscribers, contributors and believers a very Merry Christmas and an abundant New Year in 2018 blessed with good health, prosperity and more winning. Indeed, it is good to see America winning again and our citizenry being rewarded with employment options, tax relief and enhanced security at home and abroad. We want to especially thank our troops on the frontline this Christmas season and their families missing their loved one’s. Your sacrifice is not lost on the 53rd as you remain in our thoughts and prayers. May the Lord continue to bless each of you, your families and the United States of America!
By Black Jack Pershing
Dateline December 23rd, 2017 St. Louis, Mo.
Merry Christmas 53rd Nation!!! And a very Merry Christmas it is as we get ready to open our presents from POTUS: a yuuuuge tax cut and a new National Security Strategy that confronts reality. Ah yes, let’s enjoy our gifts, sit by the fire, turn on your favorite classic Christmas tunes, watch unemployment drop, the stock market soar, extra bigly winning and read some mean tweets from POTUS. Very very Merry, indeed!
But wait! We cannot let the season pass without getting some last minute stocking stuffers for our friends in the swamp! They are so sad and in need of a little yuletide pickmeup. Here ya go Swamp Dwellers: some stocking stuffers from Black Jack Pershing:
‘Chuck and Nancy’: probably the most practical gift for these two sad cases is a crying towel. All this winning will be making Cryin Chuck and Sad Nancy very very emotional. I recommend this one:
Robert Mueller: Lurch really missed his calling as a character actor in Hollywood. He’s spent lots of time with his lefty swamp buddies trying to find dirt on POTUS to no avail. Certainly he’s be more productive in small roles in films. Some I think he could have handled? Herman Munster, aforementioned Lurch in the Adam’s Family. The tall guy who’s face you never saw in Police Squad, the narrator on Unsolved Mysteries like Robert Stack, any losing contestant on any game show, and any Fed who meets a sad fate in a God Father remake. So Lurch gets an acting class:
Bill and Hill: oh my. Things just get worse and worse for these two. The Democratic Party has woken up like Rip Van Winkle and now says Bill did the dirty for real. Hill just goes on and on and seems like one of the Japanese Hold Outs lost in the island jungles after WW2, that thought the war was still on 25 years later. For Bill & Hill something from Dr Phil: Relationship Rescue!
Jeff Sessions: poor Forest Gump Sessions just don’t know what t’do! Here ya go Jeff: Law for Dummies! Perfectly appropriate!
ABC, CNN, NBC, CBS, MSNBC (Media Industrial Complex): what do you get the Swamp Propagandists? Something they would very much enjoy! Yes! A biography of their patron saint, Joey G, ENJOY!:
John McCain: as we know, he’s not ending his career so well. Maybe he just needs a few reminders. Here’s a copy of the Republican Platform JohnnyM – seems like you’ve disregarded it on occasion of late, out of personal malice. Stop that!:
Lyndsay Graham: he’s exhibited signs of life of late, and has separated from his 3 legged race partner, Senator McCain. BUT – Lyndsay still needs his big boy pants on occasion – this box may not fit in the stocking so we’ll put it under the tree – feel free to use these Huggies during the day too, Senator:
Jeff Flake: easy one! Get a job, big dummy!!:
McCaskill, Pocahontas, Feinstein, Shelby, Leahy, McConnel, Lamar, Bernie, Hatch, Grassley, & many other old goats : I know a great place that will take such good care of you. Time to move on please; Lindsay can lend you some huggies too:
Here’s another good one – we’ll give you a reference!
Al Franken: a free pass to Meadows Rehab with Harvey. Get goin, already, Al! Ya creep!
The State Department: many of you elitist chowder heads have high falutin degrees from ivy league institutions. Among the many dopey things they had you read, one was missing. Here’s a link to General Washington’s farewell address and I’d point you to the part of foreign entanglements. ENJOY!
The Federal Bureaucracy: Hurry and read it! The boss will eventually hold you accountable!
That’s enough stocking stuffers for the year, 53rd Nation. Who’d I miss? Leave a comment!
Dateline December 19th, 2016
4:26 PM EST
Little Daddy Sherwood, otherwise known as “Sherwood the Snowman,” has never been as famous as Frosty the Snowman, but in his own way, he should be. He puts people first.
The story begins in 2003 when a young father told the story of “Sherwood” to his two little girls’ age 11 and 7. You see Sherwood came to life each year on the mountaintop of Bear Mountain in New York. He would stay up there until mid-December and when the weather got cold enough and snow began to fall, he would make his way across the Hudson River into Putnam Valley. Nobody knew where he would lay down his head at night but he was often seen around Oregon Corners whisking through the streets or occasionally surprising customers at the Sunoco Gas Station pumping gas into Olds Delta 88s, Buick Electra’s or Pontiac Catalina’s (he had a passion for GM Sedans). The head mechanic George at the Sunoco loved Sherwood and appreciated his help.
Sherwood was a joyful, slender snowman with no top hat and he didn’t smoke, so no pipe. (He kind of looks like that emoji Snowman in I-phones) Frosty gets all the attention this time of year but Sherwood the Snowman is equally as special and he has a superpower that Frosty doesn’t have. Between December and March, Sherwood doesn’t melt!! It is for this reason, on special occasions, Santa calls upon Sherwood for those special missions in warmer climates to deliver presents. Some refer to Sherwood the Snowman as a Special Operator for these reasons.
Sherwood occasionally will bring special presents to families and their children that hale from the Putnam Valley area. Each Christmas, three or four families get the best presents ever from Sherwood. One year this little boy received a pair of purple Converse Chuck Taylor high-top basketball sneakers. It was a joyful Christmas when this lad thought he’d be lucky to get another pair of Skippy’s, aka Caldor shoes, if he got a pair at all.
Even to this day, those same two little girls that are now grown up, are always looking for Little Daddy Sherwood knowing he’s out there, and knowing this could be the year Little Daddy Sherwood visits their house for Christmas. Whereas Frosty says “Merry Christmas” when he comes to life, Little Daddy Sherwood says, “Reporting for duty Santa!”
PS: Little Daddy Sherwood is a big Trump supporter because when he went to Snowman School, he got in trouble for wishing a “Merry Christmas” to a group of elementary school students on a field trip to Bear Mountain State Park.