Antifa Academy – Apply Now

by Soy Boy            Portland, Oregon

Antifa’s Proud Motto: We are the Bowel Movement of Movements

Dateline August 14th, 2021

If you are a Soy Boy like me, a soft little bitch who can’t handle even the slightest amount of pressure, and will get “triggered” by almost anything, you are an ideal candidate for the Antifa Academy. If you are transgender, we want you. If you dropped out of high school, are unemployed, live in Mommy’s basement, have poor hygiene, hate America or have a heroin addiction, the Antifa Academy can bring more purposelessness to your life. We won’t judge you, we’ll just train you to be stooges for leftwing, progressive, democratic causes to destroy America.

The beauty of Antifa is we are an oxymoron organization. We call ourselves anti-fascists but we are modern day brownshirts. We actually model our tactics off of Nazi and communist regimes. We are as bigoted as they come. Our essence is hate. We hate America. We hate democracy. We hate law and order. We hate the police. We hate white people and even if we are white, we hate our own whiteness. We are a highly decentralized group of miscreants that have no real prospects in life. We have no future and we know it. Many of us are bedwetters and need adult diapers. We have bad teeth and we are not even British. We smell and we do not bathe.

We know Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi are losers too and we don’t like them. However, we helped put them in office through chaos and destruction of America’s cities because their handlers paid us. They look like us. They are incompetents like us and not very bright. We know Joe Biden is not in charge and that Obama and Soros are calling the shots. We are part of Obama’s plan to “fundamentally transform America” into a shithole where there are only elites, enforcers and lower class people. Our main goal is to do our part in Obama’s transformation of America and bring destruction of the American dream and the middle class. Obama implemented the vision in 2008 with his election and Soros is funding all of the hate and fake news. CNN and MSNBC are our news networks. We even like Chris Wallace of Foxnews because he’s a shill for the left.

By now we likely have your attention.  If you are a strong Andytifa or Angelatifa candidate, you must be getting chills thinking about joining our ranks. Our good friend Steve Inman has chronicled our many success stories. I invite you to watch them here. If you represent the true repugnant, dower spirit of #Antifa, you’ll be so inspired after watching Steve’s video’s that you’ll want to do your part in destroying America and defunding the police.

How to apply to Antifa Academy?

  1. Apply for a Direct Appointment from a Squad member. Write: Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
    216 Cannon HOB

    Washington, DC 20515.    or

     

  2. Apply directly for an at-large appointment to I’m a POS.

We are currently recruiting new members in preparation for the fall 2022 elections. The Antifa Academy Class of 2022 will begin in October 2021 and graduate in May 2022. If you are unfortunate enough to be selected some suggested readings include Rules for Radicals by Saul Alinsky, Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, Dreams of My Father by Barack Obama and American Crisis by Andrew Cuomo. While these books are written at a elementary level and not very good, they’ll give you an appreciation for tyranny.

Lastly, a few tips for your application on what we look for:

  1. Mommy issues
  2. History of problems with law enforcement, arrest record
  3. High School drop outs preferred
  4. At least 20 of 32 teeth
  5. An appreciation for living in squalor

Candidates, good luck!

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