Hello 53rd Nation! Here are the year end performance evaluations for a number of noteworthy characters shaping our world. Please note that despite many different ratings systems available we will use the traditional letter grade system for easy understanding. In addition we will assign an Agility rating to each (scale 1 to 10, 10 being highest/most effective). Why? Because in our era, there is perhaps no more defining personal trait than agility. Speed and adaptation define winners in our era of disruption; you may have seen me write about disruption before. OK – let’s get into it and if you are unaware of any of these people, google them instead of annoying others and asking about them. It’s 2017 for the love of God. Stop asking annoying questions.
Diamond & Silk: A+ with extra credit. Queens of new media; truth tellers. Entertainers. Bowl of Stupid better than any late night leftist apologist ‘comedian’. Pace setting original thinkers and willing to go against the grain. Agility rating: 7
Judge Moore: F-; weirdo. Not self aware. Not honest. Embarrassing. Not good for Alabama. I won’t impune all republicans over this particular circus, and for the Judge, nothing alleged has been proven. He’s just a throw back weirdo that symbolizes too much of what has been wrong in the south. Agility rating: 0
Steve Bannon: D. Coulda been an A or B, but not willing to change when confronted with a bad situation. Who says you’re right about everything, Steve? Chill out, Fat Head. Interesting persona and definitely strategic and can be effective. He may not have enough people around him willing to push back. He’s also unhealthily obese. Not good. Agility rating: 3
Ann Coulter: C+. Consistently hysterical but often wrong. Only cares about the wall. Good but other things happening too. Agility rating: 3.
James Woods: A. Brilliant. Rare Hollywood iconoclast. Devastating twitterer. A bright spot. Agility: 8
Scott Adams: A. Dilbert creator also a spot on pundit. Good video chats on Twitter. Emerging thought leader. Agility: 9
Mark Zuckerberg: D. Elitist. Typical rich person who doesn’t get working class Americans. Went on a lame tour across the country to visit with ‘average’ Americans. Nauseating moronic self indulgence. Seems conflicted about his creation, Facebook, which is really a ghetto of self promotion, a robust platform for narcissists, and enables every form of crap behavior that your good and decent mother told you not to do. (It is a great sharing platform) He’s enabled by many sycophants and likely will not move to wisdom any time soon. Biggest sin: advocates universal income at the advent of bots and AI. This is what happens when you skip college and do not learn the humanities. Agility: 5
Robert Mueller: D-. Swamp Master. Deep State product. Retired Security Guard. Hermann Munster. Unimpressive. Agility: 4
James McCloughan: A+. Latest Medal of Honor Recipient. Recognized for acts of heroism as a medic during the Vietnam War. Agility: 10 (note – McClouhan refused to take the medal unless an overlooked Purple Heart was awarded to a buddy of his that never got the award due to an administrative error).
Pope Francis: C+. Has some encouraging tendencies such as publicly embracing the disabled and others rejected by most. He preaches mercy which Christ did, and truly we all need. He’s made valiant attempts to clean up the finances and perverse tendencies of the curia at the Vatican. He’s also called out the Devil as being real and not to be trifled with and improved the exorcism capabilities of the church. Hard headed orthodox Roman Catholics don’t give him credit for these things. He has also introduced ambiguity to some areas of teaching and tended to embrace and cozy up to liberal politicians and their views. He’s a very mixed bag. Agility: 5
Angela Merkel: D+. Survives because the German economy is powerful. She’s somehow choreographed the right mix of socialism and capitalism the German public seems to enjoy. She’s be a B+ if she had not led the chaotic policy on migrants that has now threatened the security of most of Europe. In the process she’s angered many in Germany. Might be time for the old mare to move along. Agility: 3
Elon Musk: B. Brilliant businessman. Leading thought and tech development in needed areas. Doesn’t seem to care if his company is eventually put out of business by the traditional auto makers and has even been open about sharing trade secrets. Doing good work on solar tech which may pay off. Also, like Zuckerberg, is a nerd and can be annoying. Less shrill and mouthy, though. Agility: 8
Richard Branson: D-. Big dope. Agility: 5
Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman, Matt Lauer, Louis CK, Charlie Rose, Al Franken, John Conyers, and the rest: F-. Finally caught. Leftists. Arrogant. Hubris. Elitists. No understanding of working class America. Agility: -2.
Elizabeth Warren: F. Big dope. Opportunist. Tedious gas bag. Agility: 2
‘Chuck and Nancy’: F. Cartoons. Boring. Predictable. Full of it. Snooze inducing. Sad! Agility: 2
Mike Pence: A; calm in the midst of the storm. Loyal. Serious. Underrated. Tough. Unflappable. Agility: 8.
Rex Tillerson: B-. Might be most misunderstood in Trump Administration. Works. Tough. Stoic. May need to improve perceptions and communication skills. Former career may hamper his ability to deal with an unconventional leader like Trump. Agility: 5
Eric Greitens: A. Bad ass. Exceeding expectations. High potential outside of MO. Agility: 8
George W Bush: F. kept his mouth shut during 8 years of BO blaming anything and everything on him. He gave saintly lectures on how it was inappropriate to bad mouth the current POTUS, Now he’s taking veiled swipes at the current president. This has made Black Jack Pershing take a harder look at the mistakes of the Bush era, He did in fact screw up the Iraq War with a flawed strategy. So he now gets a BIG DUMMY badge for being biased and inconsistent. Done with you, W. You let me down, BIGLY. Dope. Agility: 2
George HW Bush. One week GHWB is quoted as bad mouthing the current POTUS. The next week begins the string of dozens of women saying he groped them, going all the way back to his presidency. He was weak then, blew his credibility with a tax increase and never finished the job with Iraq. Another BIG DUMMY, who was doing the hip bump with Bubba Clinton for two many years. Done with you GHWB. Shoulda kept your mouth shut. Bad form. Agility: 1
John McCain: D-. Sad way to go out – bickering with POTUS and taking pot shots while getting applause from the left. Smarter move would have been to stay principled and put ego aside in favor of the long term future of the country. Black Jack respects the Senator personally but finds his butt wipe antics – what the word? SAD! Agility: 2
James Comey: F. big Dope! Swamp personified. Agility: 6. He’s an excellent weasel!
Melania Trump: A. Lovely. Agility: 6
CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, ESPN: F. Fake news. Circling the drain right now. Agility: 0
Roger Goodell: F. Legitimate idiot. Proves that the NFL is not a business and is not about the fans. Elitist. Leftist. Pig at the trough. Agility: -3
Chinese Premiere Xi: B, grudgingly. Smart and cagey. A tough adversary. Not going anywhere anytime soon. Agility: 7
Jeff Sessions: F. Acting like a swamp product. Might be the years in the Senate made him forget how to work. Basically a BIG DUMMY right now. What’s he done? Agility: 1
Kim Jong Il: F-; Crazy fat kid. Mattis should be the thought leader on his imminent disposal. Agility: 4, grudgingly.
Theresa May: D-. Sad! Can’t hold Maggie Thatcher’s girdle. Politically correct and zero stiff upper lip. Get on with the Brexit already, Aunty T! Agility: 1
Sarah Huckabee Sanders: A+. Tough. Smart. Funny. Dignified. Humble. Takes no crap. Might be best press secretary in my lifetime. Agility: 9
NFL Owners: F. Billionaire elitists. Scum of the earth. Deserve to be disrupted and put out of business. Lower than Goodell who is their willing idiot. Scummers and pigs. Go away. Agility: 2
Hillary Clinton: F-. Sad! Cannot move on. Should be in jail. Horrific. Agility: -2
Peggy Noonan: D. Sad elitist relic of an earlier time. Manhattan dweller who doesn’t get most Americans. Might be time for the home, Peggy. Occasionally writes great columns when she wants to be objective – but increasingly she can’t. Agility: 1
The 53rd Regiment: A. Fine example of our 1st Amendment rights as Americans and an excellent use of the internet. Timely and sharp. Agility: 8
Donald J. Trump: B. Assuming the tax package is delivered, that and Gorsuch are ‘A’ level activities. There have been missed opportunities as well. Mishandled the Charlotte, Virginia situation by not knowing when to shut up. Entertaining, disruptive, smart, sharp, fast, perceptive, respectful and supportive of the Military. Gives the vapors to the swamp. Elitists hate him. Lots to like for Black Jack Pershing, who loves watching the elitists fall on their fainting couches at every inappropriate tweet. Let’s see if he can raise his game.
That’s enough for this year’s performance reviews. Did I miss someone? Leave a performance review in the comments!