Dateline January 7, 2023 Somewhere In the Swamp
by: Angry Grandpa
“Octogenarian. A person whose age is in the eighties.
Straight out of a Nursing Home, angrier than a hornets nest sprayed with Raid, the democratic Octogenarians in Congress are here to serve themselves and cling on to every last element of power we can before relinquishing our thrones. The young whippersnappers in Congress are lucky to have us to tell them what to do, to teach them how to get rich and most of all to teach them the power of incumbency and staying in office – forever! It’s what we do.
My Octogenarian A- Team includes my man Steny Hoyer (83) MD, Maxine Waters (84) CA, Bill Pascrell (85) NJ, Grace Napolatino (85) CA, Bernice Johnson (86) TX, Dianne Feinstein (88) CA, Jim Clyburn (81) SC and Nancy Pelosi (82) CA. Equipped with a nasty disposition and entitlement there is no law that we cannot get passed that exempts ourselves and adds more control over Americans while they still think they are free. Our Ten Point Plan:
1. We’ll tax ’em to the hilt
2. We’ll regulate them
3. We’ll sell their jobs to China
4. We’ll triple the cost of healthcare
5. We’ll hide our personal enrichment in Omnibus bills funding our friends who return massive amounts of money back to us
6. We’ll leverage our wealth through bills that personally benefit friends of Congress and time investments accordingly
7. Through our ESG schemes we’ll kill the oil & gas industry, tell Americans to buy electric cars that they can’t afford and we’ll pick industry winners & losers
8. We’ll use the pandemic to kill small businesses and enrich billionaires, we’ll lock Americans down, close their schools and build dependency on government programs to control them
9. We’ll cancel your ass when you get out of line and organize Americans against us.
10. We are the Deep State so we’ll use the Intel Community, the FBI and the News Media to control you, surveil you and when necessary jail your ass
Yup, it is good to be an Octogenarian with zero intent of ever giving up power. We are here to rule your ass and teach the next generation of Democratic Congressman that show promise as tyrants, control freaks and ultimately little regard for freedom. As a matter of fact, we really like what we are seeing in Adam Schiff. There is nothing he won’t say or do to selfishly serve himself for power, control and financial gain. Hallmark traits of Octogenarians.
One last point and a question you may be asking yourself — How do we stay healthy and make it this far? Answer: One helluva medicine cabinet! Uppers, downers, Viagra on demand, statins, metformin, blood pressure pills, and of course adrenochrome. Our man Klaus Schwab is also working on a cure for aging that we are very optimistic will reverse old age.
It is good to be a democratic Octogenarian in Congress and having a friend in the Whitehouse who is also benefitting from 50 years in the Swamp!
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I’d throw in barely alive Pat Leahy, Old Brooklyn Commie Bernie Sanders and Mitch McConnell who may as well be a dem. We can all take solace that the deity will deal with them if karma doesn’t.
The old farts may have outsmarted themselves! As many of them are already showing signs of early onset dementia, they probably forgot that they shipped off our once “Made in America pharmaceutical industry to China’s CCP and other 3rd World “Shitholes”! Vodka Nancy will have to do without her Vagisil. (Paulie “The Hammer” Pelosi will be doing without his daily dose of Viagra!) Steny? Sorry Dude! The shelves will be bereft of Preparation H ! Get used to suffering from Red Ass, you Horse’s Ass!!!