All posts by Guardian 6

Guardian 6 is at the ready: 1st General Order "I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved." 2nd General Order "I will obey my special orders and perform all of my duties in a military manner." 3rd General Order "I will report violations of my special orders, emergencies, and anything not covered in my instructions, to the commander of the relief."

Covid-19 Virus Tracker

Dateline Daily Tracker by The 53rd Regiment Editorial Board

( @the53rdregiment on Twitter)

1 April 2019. US death toll has now exceeded 4K Americans, over 1K in the last 24 hours. This is sad and unexpected. NYC remains the epicenter but we are not expected to peak until ~Easter Sunday. Country remains in the lockdown mode. Many of us remain suspicious of the origins. This has spread way too fast, way too far and way too quickly for nature. China is lying their ass off. USG likely knows much more but holding back until this bio-like-weapon is arrested. Stay plugged in to the 53rd Regiment. Working sources, problem set now. Do yourself a favor, ignore #MSM, especially CNN and MSNBC, highly corrupted sources of the news. Journalistic integrity below zero.

29 March 2019. Attended virtual mass again today. This time I watched online live. Last week it was a recording. Social distancing and selective self-quarantining is to avoid spreading the virus. NYC continues to be the hardest hit, which makes sense based on population density.  President Trump meeting with corporate CEO to push them on logistics support and manufacturing of masks and respirators. Corporate America is rallying to support the needs of American people in this health crisis.

28 March 2020. Death toll in the US has now exceeded 2K, sadly. New York City and the tri-state area is struggling the most with increased cases, over crowded hospitals and some equipment shortages such as respirators. GM and Ford automotive companies are now partnering with healthcare companies to make respirators, not quick enough based on the need. There are now over 121K cases on the coronavirus in the US and over 650K cases in the world. Social distancing has undoubtedly helped but the virus is still spreading. China is likely under reporting their coronavirus case load and fatalities. Probably 3 – 5 times higher. Keep praying.

 

24 March 2020. While President Trump guides the nation through this unprecedented crisis, Speaker Pelosi and Minority Leader Schumer play politics incorporating social engineering, Green New Deal and other anti-democratic socialist initiatives into the Coronavirus Bill designed to provide economic security to Americans and US companies. It is absolutely disgraceful and once again the Democratic party demonstrates they are not fit to lead; no answers, no solutions, just politics.

21 March 2020. First day of spring under semi-self quarantine conditions. Working from home, no gym, limited shopping trips focused on necessities. Today marks day 6 of 15 where it is recommended that people stay inside and avoid groups exceeding 10 people. Mass is also canceled in in most diocese throughout the country. President has authorized the FDA to explore using  chloroquine to treat Covid-19 coronavirus. It has shown some promise in clinical trials. Chloroquine is commonly used to prevent malaria. The Main Stream Media (MSM) continues to fuel anti-Trump hatred creating a false narrative, scaring the American public and using this pandemic to weaken the President’s prospects for re-election. Alternative media sources like the @the53rdregiment are proving to be invaluable in covering the news that matters.

19 March 2020. While Americans are suffering with fear of coronavirus; loss of wages and employment; and savings and college funds being wiped out, the Democrats have established a “war room” to attack President Trump. Far from being a unifying, calm , responsible party,  Zac Petkanas, a former adviser to Hillary Clinton and Sarah Chase, a former research associate for the presidential campaign of Sen. Elizabeth Warren, have joined forces to attack Trump. Patrick Devlin, former Communications Director for Majority Whip James Clyburn, D-S.C., will serve as an adviser to the war room to orchestrate fake news. Democrats continue to drive Trump hate and division across the country. Democrats once again lead with division. Democrats =no answers, no solutions, not fit to serve.

18 March 2020. Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way. This is no time for politics and partisanship. We are all Americans, act like it! Get behind President Trump Democrats. Focus on saving American lives and helping Americans who have lost their jobs. Help those in need. Pray. We need spiritual guidance and the Lord’s help.

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Global Strike – Wuhanvirus

by Guardian 6

Dateline:  Bunker Undisclosed Location                      March 14, 2020

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War

China has yet to apologize or offer compensation for the virus they have unleashed on the world and their own people. While there is some uncertainty on the origins of this coronavirus strain, it does appear it originates out of a military lab in the city of Wuhan, hence it being referred to as the Wuhanvirus. The question remains open on whether the Chinese were developing this virus as a biological weapon. The Chinese continue to refuse letting global medical experts in to help likely because they have something to hide.

China is now putting out false propaganda blaming the U.S. for the Wuhanvirus while also crediting the leadership of Chinese President Xi Jinping for containing the virus.  Over 80,000 in China are infected, close to 6,000 deaths worldwide and 150 countries are dealing with the Wuhanvirus Global Strike. This has resulted in the World Health Organization declaring a pandemic. The communist government of China puts out propaganda to their citizens while the threat grows worldwide. 

President Trump has taken extraordinary action in the United States declaring a national emergency which allows the federal government to marshal all necessary resources to counter this biological threat to human life. Congress is now working on a spending bill to secure the resources to fight the pandemic. President Trump has shown tremendous leadership organizing the governments response; embracing private sector support; eliminating travel from China and Europe and adjusting the US response to meet specific needs as they are identified. This is unprecedented pandemic that calls for the United States to lead at home and abroad.

In the US and worldwide schools have been closed, businesses are stopping or reducing operations and supply chains have been dramatically disrupted. NBA, NHL, MLB and March Madness have either been suspended, postponed or canceled. Because of the unpredictability of the Wuhanvirus spreading, social distancing protocols have been implemented to arrest the spread. The health sector is ramping up to deal with this crisis.

While the US media attempts to help the democrats politically by relentless attacking President Trump, he’s focused on the task at hand standing up a Task Force and updating Americans daily. Meanwhile, China the source of the virus, is largely being held unaccountable for this global epidemic by the US media and democrats. This is not a time for politics but a time for the country to unite. China see’s division in the US and they are exploiting it, as they have been doing for decades until Trump arrived.

Trump understands China’s long game and how they have been exploiting the US in trade, currency manipulation and stealing our technology. Now Americans and the West have their eyes wide open as China’s irresponsible behavior has devasted the global economy killing vulnerable citizens on every continent. “The supreme art of war is to subdue your enemies without fighting.” Is China foreshadowing their strategy?

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Bernie or Mayor Pete -CommuCrats Future is Now

by Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH                                                       February 17, 2020

Let’s not hide it anymore. Bernie is a communist and Mayor Pete is a socialist. They are the new Democratic Party and we should be proud.  A little rebranding is in order. We are now the CommuCrat Party (CP), combining the best of progressive democrats, Lenin communists and statist socialists.  The 2020 Democratic Party Platform should reflect this and our delegates at the Milwaukee Convention should vote on the name change. No more hidden agenda’s and no more hiding who we really are to the American people. We are CP’s and we are CommuCrats and we are proud.

As Bernie says, healthcare is a “human right.” Birth is not a human right because we need less humans to give the Green New Deal a chance. I propose at age seven healthcare becomes a human right if a child makes it that far. At age seven government single payer healthcare is guaranteed. Between birth and age seven, healthcare is dependent on state resources and children aptitude test scores. We should also consider ending healthcare support beyond the age of 75 except for government officials since they deserve preferential treatment. Mayor Bloomberg is right to propose age limits for healthcare. These CommuCrat ideas should be part of our CP platform.

America will become a sanctuary country once Bernie or Pete is elected. Finally, right? No borders, no skills, no immigrant interviews, no papers, no problem. Bernie or Pete absolutely get this. ICE will be disbanded day one of a Bernie presidency. Thank goodness.

Soccer will become America’s game. It will be mandated. The NFL will be outlawed, Curling will be encouraged as a High School sport replacing hockey and NBA teams will become state owned enterprises. Private ownership will be eliminated in all sectors of the economy.

Billionaires will be outlawed. They will transfer their wealth to the Billionaire Wealth Transfer Czar appointed by the President. Bernie or Pete will decide how best to use this money for personal or public benefit. Elites know best how to spend other peoples money and this is a core principle of the new CommuCrat Party.

We areCommuCrats now; louder, prouder and bolder than Biden’s America. While Biden’s Quid Pro Quo with Ukraine and his son benefiting from him being Vice President is admirable, he’s no Bernie. Joe is a CommuCrat lite at best. His time has passed.

The former Democratic Party is now the new CommuCrat Party and we belong to Bernie & Pete. We are proud CommuCrats!

 

The 53rd Regiment presents a guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper, with an sneak peak at the Democratic Party 2020 platform.  This is Matthews fourth article written exclusively for the 53rd Regiment. He is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd Regiment.  Please share your feedback with Matthews and the 53rd in the comments section. This radical wants to Be Heard. He deserves your unfiltered feedback. 

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The East Fishkill, NY UFO Incident

Dateline: New York’s Hudson Valley / Early Summer, 1987
Reported By: “Speakin’ Deacon”

It was a spectacular early summer evening, dry and cool. We had just completed play on the softball fields of Armonk, NY in the shadows of IBM’s World Headquarters, where ourTelephonics Team had managed to lose yet another close game. Affectionately nicknamed
“The One Ton Infield” due to the girth of our 1st & 3 rd Basemen, the team’s custom, was to celebrate wins (and losses) with a cold case of Coors Silver Bullets immediately following each game. After the usual array of our heroic play stories and dirty jokes had run their
course for another week, we packed up our equipment (and our empties) and we headed for home.

My trek home could usually be completed in 45 minutes to one hour depending on traffic. Many of us worked in an around the suburbs of New York City, but because of the prohibitively high cost of living there, we lived further north in Dutchess County, NY nestled in the cozy environs of the Hudson Valley. Life was simple, less congested and less sophisticated in Dutchess County than were the lives of our neighbors to the south in Westchester County. The air that we breathed was clean and fresh and on this night’s trek home, perfectly clear.

As I came upon the intersection of Interstate 84 with the Taconic State Parkway, a set of bright lights just above the Taconic Mountains to the south of me, caught my eye. The odd
thing about this sight was that these lights seemed to be just floating above the mountains. Whatever the object, it was in no apparent rush to get to wherever it was going. I slowed down to keep an eye on the object(s) now that it had captured my attention.

As I proceeded along the southern border of Dutchess County on Interstate 84, I thought about what I was watching and thought about all the possibilities. Could it be several helicopters, small planes perhaps, or something new and different being tested out of
Stewart Air Force Base on the other side of the Hudson River ? Only time would tell, so out of curiosity, I pulled my car off to the shoulder of the Interstate to wait for whatever it was to float over me.

It so happened that the spot where I so fortunately chose to pull over was directly in front of IBM’s East Fishkill Facilities. IBM had been manufacturing microprocessors there for awhile and they had a major presence in that part of Dutchess County. Had I continued
to drive a little further down I-84, I could have pulled on to the shoulder of the highway in front of Downstate Correctional Institute, home to such famous murderers as Robert Chambers, the Preppy Murderer. Had I stopped there and looked across the Interstate, I might have seen the object(s) floating over Mattewan State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, home to such famous misanthropes as Robert Garrow, a serial killer who murdered
4 people that were camping in the Adirondack Mountains. He would escape from Mattewan after feigning paralysis and be found in the woods a short distance from the prison and filled with lead when the police came upon him. Mattewan also hosted Lizzie Halliday, a
serial killer who murdered 4 including one of the nurses at Mattewan. Other notables included Valerie Solanas who attempted to murder Andy Warhol, and George Meteskey, New York City’s “Mad Bomber”.

I waited outside my car just watching the lights. I could see that the object was headed in my general direction floating slowly towards the IBM facility. The lights got larger as it proceeded towards me but I could not tell it there was a single object or 3 objects (as there were 3 lights) until it drifted directly over me. It was then that I realized that this craft was a single craft. The three lights were positioned in a triangular shape on the bottom of the craft. The reason that I can state with certainty that this was a single craft is because though it was a perfectly clear starlit night, one could look straight up
from beneath the craft and not see the stars or anything else through the bottom of the vehicle.

The craft seemed to just pause there for a few minutes with me underneath it seemingly not paying me any attention at all. The craft was perfectly silent. There was no noise being made from any sort of propulsion system. It was truly an amazing thing to witness. I did
not feel any sort of fear just more of a sense of wonder as I pondered what this was. Was this a new American made product that was being tested? After all, Ronaldus Magnus was our President and he had been threatening to develop “Star Wars” technology to bring about the end of the Cold War with the Soviets. Or could it be that I was witnessing something from Deep Space carrying a team of Aliens that Sigourney Weaver’s character “Ripley” should be engaging?

I did not understand at that time what the future could bring. Here we are 33 years later with numerous sightings and various types of UFOs being followed and in some cases being pursued and engaged by the Russians and Chinese with devastating consequences for those pilots. Can it be a coincidental that Donaldus Magnus has prevailed upon Congress for the funds to create Space Force? 

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Blexit is Real: A Reflection for Martin Luther King Day

Dateline: January 20, 2020          The Missouri Territory
by Blackjack Pershing


‘You have the ability to choose which way you want to go. You have to believe great things are going to happen in your life. Do everything you can – prepare, pray and achieve – to make it happen.’

—  Ben Carson

It is estimated that between 1820 and 1920 as much as 50% of the population of Ireland emigrated to the United States. To this day one can visit abandoned villages in Ireland, many of them vacated during and after the great potato famine. While today we speak of ‘Brexit’ as the Brits finally get their act together and give themselves breathing room from the continent, we should remember the Irish may have been the first to really depart Europe in a major way. They had enough.

Today, on Martin Luther King Day, let’s reflect on what’s come to be known as ‘Blexit’: the mass exodus of many African Americans from the Democrat party.

The first sign of Blexit: we woke to the election of Donald Trump in November of ’16 to a viral video of Henry Davis, a black Trump supporter from inner city St Louis, laughing joyfully at the Hillary Clinton loss, and the related tears being shed by her devotees. See it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGcaNY5eBWw

We’ve had wonderful black conservative leaders/thinkers/writers from Frederick Douglas through Thomas Sowell. What makes the current era so interesting is the sheer number of every day black citizens that are coming to the conclusion that its time to #WalkAway from the Democrat Plantation. Its a plantation built on grievance and ‘loser-think’ as Scott Adams might say.

African Americans from all walks of life are embracing #Blexit and thinking for themselves.

Kanye West: super star rapper walks off the plantation, grabs a MAGA Hat and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

Terrence Williams becomes a viral social media star by mocking liberal hypocrisy and lunacy.

Candace Owens brings an amazing scholarly and personal approach to writing and speaking as a pundit. She’s strong as hell and independent.

Actor Isaiah Washington has done what most Hollywood conservatives will not: he has left the democrats behind and is establishing his own brand of conservatism. Men like Isaiah risk their livelihoods for the truth and living a life of principle.

What a time we live in!

In 2016 President Trump challenged the black community with “What have you got to lose?” The MSM in their full voiced insane opposition to Trump dismissed the man as a racist. We now see the lowest black unemployment in history as Trump began the policy of fighting for jobs with smart tax policy and de-regulation. We see his support now picking up in the black community according to most polls. We may see something unprecedented in 2020 as people from all walks of life enter the privacy of the voting booth.

And by the way, who delivered prison reform, an initiative so dear to the black community? President Trump, convincing reluctant republicans to go along with him.

Democrats have destroyed value, cheapened life and wrecked most of our large urban cores in the United States. We all deserve better, but Black Americans in particular deserve much better. Like the Irish of so many decades ago, they have endured enough. Its time to walk away from the mess that the modern democrat party offers to include: excusing blackface, exterminating black babies, creating and cultivating dependency, selling socialism, driving away employers with hostile policies, offering not hope, but hate.

Offering prayers for all of our brothers and sisters in the black communities across the US today, Martin Luther King Day, 2020. Blexit is bringing his dream closer to reality than ever.

Peace.
@BlackjackPershing

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Happy Birthday 53rd Regiment

by Guardian 6               12 January 2020

It has been quite the journey as @the53rdregiment celebrates its four year anniversary today.  We never wavered, we have never lost faith with fellow patriots and we will never quit in defending freedom and pushing back hard against the liberal, hate filled mob. The 53rd Regiment stands with America and we stand with President Trump . We are stronger, wiser and more determined then ever to Be Heard!

This would not have been possible without @PershingSoldier’s contributions and backing. He has taken the tough assignments, articulated verbal combat with the best of them and gone deep behind enemy lines.  @PershingSoldier remains undefeated and like President Trump, he does some of his best work in the mudpit. Simply put, he remains fearless in defense of liberty and the American way of life.

Our work is far from over as we approach the 2020 presidential election. The socialist democrats,  Bernie Sander, Elizabeth Warren and AOC are doing their best to turn American into a shithole. The Fake News (CNN, NY Times, MSNBC and Washington Post) among others continue to work against President Trump partnering with the Democratic Party and  the #DeepState. This can not stand. As President Reagan first stated, “America remains that shiny city on the hill.”

The 53rd Regiment has no association fees and no signed agreements. We simply call all Patriots to defend America against the liberal onslaught of insanity. The 53rd Regiment is your forum to Be Heard!

The 53rd Regiment remains vigilant. #TheResistance and the Russians (one in the same), #MSM, Democratic Socialists, Communists, Antifa and other fringe lefty groups, consider this your notice. The 53rd Regiment will Be Heard!

Guardian 6

 

 

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The FDO Playbook is Dead (Soleimani too!)

by Guardian 6                     Dateline: 6 January 2019

President Trump’s bold decisive action to eliminate the world’s #1 terrorist, General Qasem Soleimani, head of Iran’s Islamic Revolution Guards Corps (IRGC) Quds Force and architect of Iran’s Middle East strategy was killed January 2nd, 2020, in a precision drone strike on the perimeter of Baghdad International Airport (BIAP), Iraq. Happy New Year America and Happy New Year to all the world’s victims that have suffered due to this ruthless killer. While Iran’s “supreme leader,” Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and his band of like minded killers consider a reprisal attack, I would counsel the Ayatollah to think twice and sleep on it for the rest of your time on earth.

I’ll be clear, the FDO Playbook is Dead! President Trump gets it. For the last 50 years the US Diplomatic-Military Complex (DMC) telegraphs every move to stalemate, status quo and to limited gain at best. The DMC Flexible Deterrent Option (FDO) playbook is so old it is better placed in the national archives than the Pentagon. Why do we have endless wars absent victory? How about we institutionalize our doctrine in Joint Publications and then we post these publications online to friend and foe alike. Sound like a good idea? Of course not. Who would do this? Did someone leak these documents because that would be extremely poor operational security (OPSEC). The answer is no leak. The Department of Defense posts all US Joint Publications online for all to see, study and if necessary, counter.

Open the attached hyper link, Joint Publication 5-0, Joint Operational Planning. In this Joint Pub, the US lays out our national security approach to operational planning, strategic guidance, interagency planning and coordination, operational design, and the Pub goes on to elaborate in tremendous detail the US approach to deterrence and warfare. Once in JP 5-0, jump to Appendix E and F, Flexible Deterrent Options & Flexible Response Options. Here is the playbook for all to see. Call me old school and paranoid if you must, but this is not smart!

Back to President Trump taking out the killer that was Soleimani. Trump values American lives and American interests first and foremost. An old, dusty, telegraphed playbook is of no use to him. Iran, Syria, Russia and North Korea among other countries are  counting on it as they exploit the US FDO/FRO process and use it to their advantage. While the US national security apparatus follows their process, bad actors exploit it and Soleimani was counting on it as he brazenly landed at BIAP, approximately 10 miles from the US Embassy, where he mistakenly orchestrated  one too many attacks against the US leading to his demise.

President Trump leads. He’s not looking for an OPSEC compromised playbook that leads to stalemate, leaves real bad actors in place and ultimately increases risks on American troops and US interests. As the dishonest MSM whines and failed Obama officials and policy wonks are trotted out to criticize President Trump, he just simply wins by breaking old paradigms, shredding failed policies and keeping Americans safe. The year is young. Enjoy it America because winning is the new normal while Iran and others have been put on notice.

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Impeach 45 vs. MAGA (Updated)

The 53rd Regiment presents a returning guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper, with his early endorsement for the next President of the United States, Representative Maxine Waters.  Matthews is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd and its members, but nonetheless,  he too can Be Heard. 

by Matthews Cooper, an update to my July 14th, 2018 article. 

Dateline: December 23, 2019       Dayton, OH

As brilliantly outlined below, Maxine’s vision has been realized. Pelosi incorrectly gets all the credit for impeachment, more white privilege. Did you see Pelosi’s post impeachment press conference? Does anyone even know what the hell she was trying to communicate? Off camera even Joe Scarborough was struggling to explain, and he’s the chief liberal apologist for all the MSM apologist democrats.

Each democratic candidate is struggling to connect with blue state America, all five of the blue states that remain after Trump’s election in 2016. The Trump economy is absolutely an issue to avoid just like Joe’s hair plugs or Hunter Biden’s Barisma oil gig that paid him $50K – $100K monthly. Little Pete cant’t even run the city of South Bend and Liz Warren has been smoking the tribal weed to come up with that price tag of Medicare for all. Bernie, please? Let me know when he is done yelling. CNN nation, what we have hear is a 2020 MAGA wipe out in the making, a KAG landslide unless we get behind Mad Max. Maxine Waters is the leader the Democratic Party needs.

Maxine Waters got us impeachment of President Trump, her first major achievement after nearly 30 years in the House of Representatives.  She had the vision, the moxie and the MSNBC audience (all 92 of them) to get us to this point. We need Mayor Bloomberg’s money to get behind Maxine. This is our only shot! We need bluster, incoherence and a bold debate stage presence uninhibited by facts!  WE NEED Maxine!

 

______________________________________________________________________

Original Article follows:

By Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH           July 14th, 2018

Once again, I appreciate the 53rd Regiment allowing me to represent my opinion and be heard. With tremendous excitement and great joy I proudly endorse the next President of the United States, Representative Maxine Waters! 2020 cannot come soon enough.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters is the unquestionable leader of the Democratic Party and the Resistance Movement. She is the most powerful women in American politics today and she has been calling for President Trump’s impeachment before he was even elected. She is not only fearless but she does not let facts or details interrupt her views, thoughts or public speaking. Serving in her 14th term in the US House of Representatives from California, she has profited handsomely and become a millionaire representing one of the poorest districts in America. Representative Waters has seen opportunity and she has boldly taken it. Her 37 years as a public servant represents an incredibly unremarkable record along with the stale, crony and partisan leadership needed to return the Democratic Party to the White House.

With her bold single agenda platform to “Impeach 45,” a vision for domestic or foreign policy is not needed. The brilliance of “Impeach 45” counters Make America Great Again in the most simplistic way. Her communications will be crisp, on point and easily understood. Waters vs Trump 2020 will come down to I45 vs MAGA. The campaign will not be about the American people or America’s future, but good old fashion revenge to get rid of Trump, the evil outsider who has improved the US economy dramatically, adding $7 trillion in American worth while restoring America’s respect on the world stage through Intervention: Earth. Mad Maxine’s brilliant I45 Campaign strategy will have a much better result than Hillary’s “I’m with Her.”

As Representative Waters has demonstrated, she is combative, strident and unapologetic. After the Deplorables elected Donald Trump in 2016, the time for civility is long gone. America needs a fighter who can counter every Trump move with a simple retort, “Impeach 45.”

Onward, I45!

 Matthews Cooper Biography. Matthews is a former High School newspaper editor and factory worker at the GM Moraine Factory where the Chevrolet Trailblazer & GMC Envoy used to be built in Dayton, OH. He lost his job when GM went bankrupt. Today he works at that same plant where a Chinese manufacture is paying him $10 per hour to make windshields. He has applied to be an editor with CNN and MSNBC and plans to volunteer with the Waters campaign.

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Merry Christmas Little Daddy Sherwood

Rocky Mountains, Colorado                          Dateline 16 December 2019

 

In an old mining town

High in the Rockies

Lives the legend of Little Daddy Sherwood

An old abandoned Snowman, once loved by all

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

When the mining town thrived

Little Daddy Sherwood was the talk of the town

Always affable & joyful

His rival Frosty was nothing more than a fraudulent clown

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

As the gold dried up

The people started to leave

Little Dady Sherwood was dismayed and confused

In the end LDS  was emotionally bereaved

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

No happy ending

LDS is not a Christmas Hallmark movie

Little Daddy Sherwood’s spirit is lonely

As the people believe he’s no longer groovy

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

One hundred years since LDS has seen people

Just birds, goats and lots of sheeple

Until he saw Dave on the side of the hill

Little Daddy Sherwood got quite the thrill

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

Dave saw LDS and thought What The Phuck

My mind is playing tricks or

It is Little Daddy Sherwood as Grandpa used to say

He’s real, he’s tall and its my lucky day

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

He’s lost, sad and downtrodden

 

Little Daddy Sherwood and Dave are fast Pals

Singing Christmas Carols and drinking hot whiskey

Unlike Frosty, LDS never melts

Its been 100 years and now he’s frisky

 

Little Daddy Sherwood, old and forgotten

Now he’s found, happy and contented

 

This is where our Christmas song ends

LDS and Dave are best of friends

 

 

 

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Stocking Stuffers for Swamp Dwellers

by Blackjack Pershing

Dateline December 7, 2019       Missouri Territory

Hello 53rd Nation. It’s the time of year again! While we deplorables enjoy our early Christmas gifts from our POTUS, we must start considering a few small items to put in the stockings of the lost souls of the Swamp.

Yes yes yes – we Deplorables have our early Christmas gifts: 3.5% unemployment, a record setting stock market, two solid Supreme Court picks, China being properly managed, NATO deadbeats being pummeled, and soon, AG Barr will bring a gigantic canister of Drano to bust open the nasty clog in the DC drainage ditch.

But – what about gifts for the Swampians? Here are our wonderful stocking stuffers for our favorite swampians:

Nancy Pelosi: for #NervousNancy we are sending a delicious bottle of Extra Strength Prevagen, with a side of fish oil to help with her cognition issues. Oh heck, lets throw in a handle bottle of Grey Goose Vodka.

Adam Schiff: it’s really hard to pick out a gift for a sociopath. We know they are incapable of gratitude, so why bother. But, it is the holiday season. So for little Adam we have a airplane pillow to protect and comfort his teeny tiny neck.

Jerry Nadler: for Nad we have a scooter on loan from Walmart to make his trips down those hallways of the capitol much easier. Gotta be tough on our rotund New Yorker.

Sheila Jackson Lee: for big mouth #EmptyBarrell SJL we have a pair of 1970’s extra large tube socks that we hope she will promptly stuff in her very large pie hole.

Gavin Newsome: for Gavvie we have a hazmat suit he can wear while he goes outside the governor’s mansion to pick up poop and needles. You built that Gavvie. Yes you did.

Michael Bloomberg: newly nicknamed Mini-Mike needs a step ladder, some elevator shoes and a sandwich board he can walk around in that says ‘I’m an important big shot’. You’re welcome Mike.

Bill DeBlasio: Big Bird gets a stinky old green army shirt left behind by his hero Fidel Castro. It smells like cigars and BO.

Mitt Romney: for Mitt we have a wedgie. Mitt obviously will not want a wedgie, but we all know he needs one badly.

Brain Stelter: we have for Brian exactly what he wants: a footlong Ultimate Meatball Marinara sub from Subway.

Chairman Xi: for Mr Big Shot of China we have a lovely gift: a second term for POTUS. Worth waiting for we think.

Bill Kristol and George Will: for these two irrelvant Never Trump yappers we have a prize package of pacifiers, pampers, and extra large bassinets. Sad very large infants.

Whistle blower: or as we like to call him, ‘the blower’, for him we have a visit from AG Barr.

 

Pete Buttegieg: for pious pompous pipsqueak Pete we have a propeller beanie. Won’t it look great on him?

Sleepy Creepy Swampman Dummy Botox China Ukraine Quid Pro Quo Joe Biden: Bite Me Joe gets a double order of Nancy’s Prevagen and Fish Oil, plus some denture adhesive.

Fredo: our hero of Very Fake News fame gets a new hat:

Bette Midler, Rosie, Rob Reiner and Michael Moore: these unhinged leftists obviously suffer from high blood sugar due to poor lifestyle choices. For them we have a good old fashioned eight loss device:

DNC: a generous stocking stuffer: a new vehicle for all of your key players:

Finally for Comey, Brennan, Clapper, Strozk and Page, something helpful:

If you have a stocking stuffer idea for someone we missed, please list them in the comments section. Merry Christmas to all!

 

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