Category Archives: Buffoonery

Bernie or Mayor Pete -CommuCrats Future is Now

by Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH                                                       February 17, 2020

Let’s not hide it anymore. Bernie is a communist and Mayor Pete is a socialist. They are the new Democratic Party and we should be proud.  A little rebranding is in order. We are now the CommuCrat Party (CP), combining the best of progressive democrats, Lenin communists and statist socialists.  The 2020 Democratic Party Platform should reflect this and our delegates at the Milwaukee Convention should vote on the name change. No more hidden agenda’s and no more hiding who we really are to the American people. We are CP’s and we are CommuCrats and we are proud.

As Bernie says, healthcare is a “human right.” Birth is not a human right because we need less humans to give the Green New Deal a chance. I propose at age seven healthcare becomes a human right if a child makes it that far. At age seven government single payer healthcare is guaranteed. Between birth and age seven, healthcare is dependent on state resources and children aptitude test scores. We should also consider ending healthcare support beyond the age of 75 except for government officials since they deserve preferential treatment. Mayor Bloomberg is right to propose age limits for healthcare. These CommuCrat ideas should be part of our CP platform.

America will become a sanctuary country once Bernie or Pete is elected. Finally, right? No borders, no skills, no immigrant interviews, no papers, no problem. Bernie or Pete absolutely get this. ICE will be disbanded day one of a Bernie presidency. Thank goodness.

Soccer will become America’s game. It will be mandated. The NFL will be outlawed, Curling will be encouraged as a High School sport replacing hockey and NBA teams will become state owned enterprises. Private ownership will be eliminated in all sectors of the economy.

Billionaires will be outlawed. They will transfer their wealth to the Billionaire Wealth Transfer Czar appointed by the President. Bernie or Pete will decide how best to use this money for personal or public benefit. Elites know best how to spend other peoples money and this is a core principle of the new CommuCrat Party.

We areCommuCrats now; louder, prouder and bolder than Biden’s America. While Biden’s Quid Pro Quo with Ukraine and his son benefiting from him being Vice President is admirable, he’s no Bernie. Joe is a CommuCrat lite at best. His time has passed.

The former Democratic Party is now the new CommuCrat Party and we belong to Bernie & Pete. We are proud CommuCrats!

 

The 53rd Regiment presents a guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper, with an sneak peak at the Democratic Party 2020 platform.  This is Matthews fourth article written exclusively for the 53rd Regiment. He is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd Regiment.  Please share your feedback with Matthews and the 53rd in the comments section. This radical wants to Be Heard. He deserves your unfiltered feedback. 

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Big Dummy Refresh

by Blackjack Pershing                Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri

Dateline: 11 November 2019

You may be aware that in March of this year The 53rd Regiment published its inaugural Big Dummy Awards, to memorialize the major accomplishments in Horse’s Assery from the previous year.

You can find that article here:

Inaugural Big Dummy Awards

Well, in these fast moving times, it seems that an annual Big Dummy recognition just isn’t enough. They just keep emerging like Zombies in Night of the Living Dead. A long relentless stream of Dummies. Mindless hoards.

So we’ve decided another batch of Big Dummy Awards are merited and must be published. So with no further ado, here are your second batch of 2019 #BigDummies:

LTC Vindman: An Officer and a Marshmallow-Man. Soldiers are soldiers. When they attempt to be anything other than a soldier, the risk getting themselves in unfamiliar and dangerous territory. Soldiers are by nature non-political. When soldiers become political operatives, they are betraying their professionalism. It is very simple. This is one LTC that has lots on his mind, but most of it is not about the fighting effectiveness of our military. He’s become a pawn, a useful idiot for the DNC, and obviously a donut fed hack. Sad. A tragic Big Dummy.

Adam Schiff: has intellect, but his actions betray a lack of strategic thought. His choice of a complicated and elaborate hoax to hang an impeachment on is unworkable. Hanging his career on this kind of sleaze? Stupid. Another Big Dummy.

Nancy Pelosi: previous thinking on her was that she was strategic and crafty and would not allow an unprofessional farce to unfold. She folded. For caving in to the worst element of the DNC in hopes of preserving her power, she is, obviously, a Big Dummy.

Anthony Scaramucci: what a sad mess. The massive indignity of this individual is nauseating. Gets a shot at a key administration role, blows it in the most public way, waits a bit, asks for his job back, doesn’t get it due to proven incompetence and then goes on a disloyal tear, right into the open arms of the #FakeNews. It is grotesque. But as if to throw even more slime on the pile of garbage he is, he embraces Mitt Romney as his chosen savior. He is a pathetic, sad, disgraced, sniveling Big Dummy.

George Conway: So. Your wife lands one of the most powerful assignments in politics/government. She is successful and trusted by the President. What do you do? Repeatedly take to Twitter to bad mouth her boss. By any standard, in any circumstance this pantload is an extreme Big Dummy. Seriously. Who does that?

Michael Moore, Rob Reiner, Joy Bejar & Bette Midler: All of them tubby, mouthy, vulgar bottom feeders of the worst order. Has beens? Yes. Overrated? Certainly. Over fed? Obviously. Bitter hacks? Of course. Big Dummies? Very very Bigly.

The UAW: leadership full of thieves puts the members out on strike for dubious purposes as an obvious distraction from the fact that the FBI keeps arresting key officials. The UAW and other US unions haven’t grown up, haven’t modernized and refuse to help those who need it most. Big Dummies.

ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC Executives: previously we called out jeff Zucker as the most obvious buffoon of this bunch, but now due to the good work of Project Veritas, we know that bias is the least of their issues; criminal negligence and political targeting are now their mission. Evil? Yes. Possibly illegal? Maybe. Big Dummies All? Absolutely.

Rashida Tlaib: Rashie is the 2nd member of the so called Squad to make this list, following the literally no brainer decision to add in AOC on the first outing. While Ilhan Omar is evil, we are not convinced she’s a dummy. And the 3rd member is elusive – Elvis’s grand niece – what ever her name is. But we have enough data on foul mouthed, low brow Rashie. Always yelling, always angry, always with attitude, this slob is an ungrateful bitter, hostile, HANGRY Big Dummy. Case closed.

Robert DeNiro: how do you ruin a respected career in which most of the public respects your work and you have broad appeal? Share your stupidity. Very simple. Big Dummy Bobby has sown America his shallow vulgarity repeatedly since the election of Donald Trump. Note to all other famous people: this is not how you want to go out. Very very sad.

Gillette: an iconic brand decides to go woke in its advertising by lecturing men about their behavior. Attention marketers: you don’t need an MBA; just don’t be a Big Dummy.

Fredo: perhaps the biggest Big Dummy on a network comprised of Big Dummies. Impressive.

Amy Klobucar: Just a loud mouth slob who ate a salad with a comb and is mean to her staff. Low grade Big Dummy.

Elizabeth Warren: communist and a Big Dummy, because she says she is a capitalist, but is most obviously a communist. And a Big Dummy.

Beto: how’d we miss him the first time out? Holy Smokes. Epic Big Dummy. A skate boarding, arm waving, table hopping, dentist visiting, haircut on internet broadcasting, dirt eating, furry outfit wearing Big Dummy of the highest order.

Eric Swalwell: not quite Beto, but almost. Has any Big Dummy ever had such a high opinion of themselves? High confidence bolted to a low IQ and zero self-awareness always delivers an Epic Big Dummy. That’s you Eric.

Michael Avenatti: bwaaaa hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Big Dummy.

Mitt Romney. Where to begin. He’s alternatively an arse kissing fool, a money begging idiot, a blue state liberal, a losing loser, and most recently we find out he is ‘Pierre Delecto’. While all of that is bad enough, the worst tendency this sad excuse for a republican exhibits is courting favor with the Fake News by regularly bad mouthing our President. Big. Dummy.

The NBA, Steve Kerr, LeBron, et al: did we ever think in our lifetime we would see noteworthy Americans openly support Red China as it cracks down on Hong Kong, all the while bad mouthing patriots that point to oppression? It is surreal. Like paid actors, LeBron and Kerr led the way on this, clearly putting their own wealth before liberty and freedom. They are lower than low. We believe they are low more due to lack of education than maliciousness, so therefore, they are now pronounced, Big Dummies.

Well Patriots, that’s allotta Big Dummies and we haven’t even scratched the surface. Look for another Big Dummy update during the Christmas Holidays – always a good time to reflect. Your own Big Dummy additions are welcome in the comments below.
BJP

 

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2020 Democratic Party Platform

by Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH                                                                                March 3rd, 2019

As I observe the beginnings of heroic campaigns by Senators Bernie, Kamala, Cory, Elizabeth and many other prominent socialist democrats, I am eager to start working on our 2020 Democratic Socialist Platform. We have so much to offer America if we can just centralize planning and eliminate individual choice. The Chinese & Venezuelan  five year plans are the gold standard we should emulate. Here are the initial tenets of The 2020 Democratic Party Platform.

  1. Living Wage for everyone. $15 in 2020 growing up to $20 by 2030.
  2. Green New Deal. Air travel restricted in 2021 by charging a minimum of $2K per flight. Air travel eliminated in 2024. All gas engine cars must be turned into a processing center for disassembling by July 1st 2022. Each car owner will pay $500 fee to meet federal compliance of Car Elimination Act.
  3. 31 Genders Federally Standardization. Otherwise known as the Baskin Robins gender mandate, equal opportunity laws will now require gender compliance with federal set-asides to fast track compliance.
  4. Open Borders. Everyone is welcome and Americans will help fund this initiative by paying for public school books for the first time in every county and school district. The federal government will decide the books and prices. Current borders will be removed.
  5. Social Monitoring & Scoring (SMS). The FCC will be absorbed in the SMS. The SMS will begin monitoring American communications and scoring each citizen on a scale of 1 to 100, 100 being a fully compliant, progressive thinking citizen that can be trusted. Americans will be assigned the following labels: Progressive Hero 90 – 100; Progressive Worker 80 – 89; Progressive But Too Independent 70-79; Watch List 60 – 69; Republican In Name Only 50 – 59;  Tea Party Conservative 1 – 49. Each citizen will be required to use GeoTrack software so their movements can be tracked.
  6. Department of Defense will transition to Internal Defense. The USAF will be eliminated as part of the New Green Deal. The Marine Corps will be eliminated due to their extremism. The Army will be subordinated to state Governors. The Navy will transition to a travel agency for US politicians  needing to be transported to foreign countries for meetings and social gatherings.
  7. Voting Rights. Citizenship will be eliminated as a requirement to vote and each citizen will be allowed to vote up to 5 times based on their SMS score. Only citizens with scores of 80 or better will be allowed to vote. Age requirement will be waved.
  8. Reparations. All African Americans will be given one million dollars each in lumpsum payment. It will not be taxed.
  9. Marijuana Fairness Act. Marijuana will be legalized across the country.
  10. 2nd Amendment Revoked. All guns will be turned in to local police stations no later than 1 September 2021. Hunting Rifle Centers will be established so during hunting season, rifles will be permitted in a lottery system for one week permits in duration.
  11. Medicare For All. Appointments will be rationed along with care by local medical boards. Priority will be assigned based on political connections and need.

It is an exciting time to be a Democratic Socialist. Our time has arrived!

          The 53rd Regiment presents a guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper, with an early sneak peak at the Democratic Party 2020 platform.  This is Matthews third article written exclusively for the 53rd Regiment. He is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd.  Please share your feedback with Matthews and the 53rd in the comments section. 

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Schumer Shutdown II

The Swamp, Dateline December 22, 2018

He’s at it again. Senator Chuck Schumer along with the Senate Democrats have exacted their animus toward President Trump by blocking passage of a bill that would fund the government and include $5 billion toward 215 miles of a border wall. In other words, securing the southern boarder to enhance security protections for Americans is less important than Chuck and Nancy ensuring President Trump is not successful preventing drug flow, human trafficking and illegal immigration.

Americans are watching and disgusted at these self serving politicians that grandstand their personal agendas over Americans safety, security and protections. Illegal immigration, gangs, terrorists and drugs are destroying communities and American lives. There is no excuse for not passing commonsense laws to secure our border.

Let’s frame this issue. Somehow the Obama Administration was able to transfer $2 billion in cash to the Iranians over the highly flawed nuclear deal which Schumer supported. Now Schumer will not approve $5 billion for American security to stem the flow of drugs and illegal immigration. This demonstrates how self serving the democrats really are and telegraphs what the next two years are likely to bring.

President Trump, time to stand up for America and settle for not one penny less than $5 billion. You have a bully pulpit, use it! Give America the security we deserve.

Original article below published January 19th, 2018

Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), 800 thousand of them whom arrived illegally, are being prioritized by Democrats over the rights of 320 million tax paying American citizens . Even though the current illegal DACA arrangement implemented by an illegal Executive Order by former President Obama is not due to expire until March 5th, 2018, the Democrats (#SchumerShutdown) are NOT willing to pass a continuous resolution to fund the government.

Couple questions:

  1. Is this a cover-up and a distraction to the cover-up of the phony dossier and Democratic Party collusion with a British Spy and phony dossier?
  2. So the Dems are prioritzing illegals “rights” over the tax paying rights of citizens of the United States?
  3. The Dems are willing to let the military and their families go without pay while we are at war? By the way, Congress still gets paid in a government shutdown. Isn’t that interesting. Different rules for the ruling elite.
  4. Was the #shithole fake news episode really about the set-up to DACA? Of course it was! But the fake news will not report this.

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Whoopee Cushion

by Blackjack Pershing                   Dateline:     20 July 2018
Missouri Territory

Before apps, video games, virtual reality and Pokemon go, previous generations enjoyed forms of entertainment that involved actual physical objects. This may be hard to believe but it’s true. An entertaining and jolly artifact of former times is something known as a whoopee cushion’.

Found in stores like Spencer Gifts, a place known for selling gag gifts and sometimes R rated items, the whoopee cushion was a rubber device that made a sound similar to human flatulence when quickly deflated – usually when someone unexpectedly sat on one. A prankster would secure a whoopee cushion, inflate it and then surreptitiously place it where the victim would be placing their derrière. As the victim sat down and the gaseous noise erupted, great laughter would erupt. Ahhh – the good old days.

But wait – there is a new Whoopee Cushion that has arrived, under a different spelling. It’s now called ‘Whoopi Goldberg’. The newer version is far more vulgar and explosive than the more innocent rubber version. New Whoopi explodes in unreasonable and fantastical liberal tirades with fake facts and intolerant accusations. Human Flatulence.

Whoopi ‘let loose’ on a superior foe, Judge Jeanine Pirro, on a recent episode of the brain inflammation known as ‘The View’. If you remember the Harpy scene from famous stop action film Jason and the Argonauts, you have seen the view. No need to tune in. Anyway, Whoopi harkened back to POTUS’s initial campaign announcement speech to claim he besmirched all Mexicans, among others. He did not. She held forth in hysterics. She made very smelly noise. The good Judge had to zing her with facts. Whoopi Cushion couldn’t handle it. She melted down. Stormed off. Told the Judge to leave. She exemplified Human Flatulence. Just a guess – but the notoriety of this incident is helping the Judge sell her new book too. So you might say in addition to the passing of wind, Whoopi Cushion also – how shall we say it delicately? – defecated on her own self! Yes. That’s it.

What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a smaller metaphor for the left in this nation. They have become their own religion of sorts, enforcing orthodoxy and compliance in a way that would make the Mullahs of the Islamic State blush. Toxic accusations, angry rhetoric, demonization, and hysteria are their currency. Like the house in the movie Polterguest, at the end of the story, all of the badness, the grotesqueness, the rottenness, and rancid foundations of it all are about to collapse in and implode. Keep watching. It is inevitable. The American people have become far more capable of detecting BS of late. It’s over for the Stalinist Left. As for Whoopi Cushion, get some air freshener and be prepared to occasionally light a candle to get the smell out of the room…….

Watch where you sit, my friends…..

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