Category Archives: Humor

Urban Dictionary: Biden

Dateline 27 January 2022

What is a “Biden?” There are many definitions in the Urban dictionary of who and what Joe Biden is based on his awful performance as president. Let’s take a look. Feel free to add yours in the comment section below the article.

Biden. Let’s Go Brandon.

Biden. Fxxk Joe Biden.

Biden. A walking pile of manure.

Biden. Un unfleshed toilet.

Biden. A clueless dolt incapable of leadership that has put America last.

Biden. Exhibit A for memory loss.

Biden. Making Jimmy Carter look like Ronald Reagan in terms of presidential job performance.

Biden. China’s Manchurian candidate who took $31M in payoffs.

Biden. A foreign policy debacle personified.

Biden. America’s nightmare.

Biden. A lying PoS!

Biden. Obama’s biggest success and prodigy.

Biden. Trump’s caddy.

Biden. A dumpster fire that will not burn out.

Biden. A pedo.

Biden. A used car salesman.

Biden. I single unit that has all the worst qualities of a politician. A loser.

Biden. An installed president, not elected. Stolen presidency.

Biden. A bad smelling fart resulting in near vomit.

Biden. Where’s Hunter’s Dad.

Biden. He’s shot.

Biden. Anal itch.

There are many more urban meanings for Biden, too many to list. Each day many more are added. You likely have your own urban definition of a Biden. Join in the discussion below and add yours below.

 

 

 

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Psychic MAGA Predictions for 2022

Dateline December 29, 2021
53rd Regiment Special Edition
Fellow Patriots if you are of a certain age you may remember the psychic Jean Dixon who would, around this time of year, issue bold predictions for the year ahead.  These would be published in sometimes less than reputable publications like the National Enquirer.  We at the 53rd Regiment have put our best minds together, notably Guardian 6, Blackjack Pershing and Iron Mike, to bring you the best most accurate psychic predictions for 2022.  Take these to the bank, friends.
Here we go.
Joe Biden will soil himself and others.  Again.  Those getting hit by Joe’s consistently explosive and leaky diaper contents will include Emmanuel Macron (Sacre Bleu!) Boris Johnson (Tut Tut!!) and a second round of effluent for Pope (Poop) Francis (Holy Sh-t!!). Most staffers in the White House will be sprayed, as well as the entire State Department.
Chinah Joe will resign in disgrace by October in a desperate attempt to salvage the November elections.
New President Kamala Harris will send Valerie Jarrett to the Senate for confirmation as VP.  Lame Duck Dem Senate will approve Jarrett.  The Squad will celebrate with an annual bath.
Chuck Schumer will make a day long speech in the well of the senate about his erection.
George W Bush will paint a nude of Hunter.
Hunter will paint a nude of George W Bush and sell it for $600K to a Chinese donor in a NYC gallery.
Hunter challenges George W to a nude paint off.  Hunter suffers a stroke while painting a nude of Liz Cheney.
Big news for Chris Wallace.  In addition to finally announcing he is transitioning, not just to CNN but his gender, his efforts at streaming (see Joe’s prediction above) will not be successful.  His new job will last roughly 90 days after nonexistent ratings and being backstabbed by human potato Stelter.
Speaking of the human potato, he will sue both Don Lemon and CNN for sexual battery after being felt up one time too many by Randy DonnieBoy.  Chris Wallace will attempt to join in unsuccessfully.
Whoopi Goldberg will achieve her goal of weighing 500 lbs by July.
New Biden puppy Commander will achieve  better house training than Chinah Joe.
President Xi decides to send the Chinese navy into Taiwan.  Chinese navy sunk before it gets halfway there.  All this while Chinah Joe plays with his toy submarine in the Camp David bathroom.  Unexpected surprise?  Japan did it.
Speaking of China, the Chinese Winter Olympics will fail under a cloud of Covid, Uyghur  genocide, and global disgust.  No one will attend.
Speaker Pelosi will acknowledge her well known drinking problem and say its no problem, and order a round of vodkas for everyone.
Mayor Pete will open an alternative ‘Gay Whitehouse’ on a set near the one Chinah Joe uses for his fake press conferences.   Only gays will be allowed on set.  The supply chain will continue to be a disaster.
In a surprise to all, John Brennan and James Clapper will elope to the Bahamas and make their mutual love known to all.  Disgraced General and former Head Spook Michael Hayden officiates wedding, the Mooch acts as midget ring bearer and Frank Luntz is Brides Maid to Clapper, while Comey is Best Man to Brennan. Gender neutral Groomsman and Bridesmaids included Gen. Stanley McCrystal, Adm Bill McRaven, Dr. Rachel Levine,  John Kirby, and Mad Dog (Gen. Jim Mattis).
China Joe implements mandatory Mandarin language training at all US elementary schools, including pre-K.
Post stroke recovery, Hunter paints a nude Chairman Xi.  Hunter presents painting to Xi in diplomatic fiasco related to certain facets of Xi being accurately represented.
In a major Oval Office address, Chinah Joe announces his butt’s been wiped.
Jenn Psaki caught in affair with Jim Acosta and Morning Schmoe.  Chinah Joe will invoke Pope Francis and say ‘who am I to judge?’
Kamala Harris finally visits the southern border, but heads to Tijuana and participates in what is commonly called a ‘Donkey Show’.
The US Navy requires all Sailors to be gay.  General Miley, in a supporting speech says ‘We are now all gay – all of us – very gay!’
The Secretary of Defense also declares ‘America has always been very gay and our Armed Services will reflect that!’
In related news, military recruiters will struggle to find enough gays to serve.
Governor Gavin Newsome will announce that California is now a communist state.  New York, Connecticut, Vermont and Oregon will follow.
Hillary will continue to not be president, but even more loudly.
The loser FBI agents who attempted to kidnap Michigan Governor ‘Big Gretch’ Witmer will reassemble and make another attempt, this time successfully.  No one will pay ransom.
Half wits Kinsinger,  Schiff and Swalwell will be discovered as active agents for China and Russia.
The Squad will start bathing weekly, instead of monthly, in an attempt to win more votes.
George Soros will be discovered to have been dead since 2002, but inhabited by alien entities – mostly cockroaches.
Having become the poster boy for the coming democrat implosion, Terry McAuliffe aka Mc- AWFUL will take the logical next step and become a Fox News contributor.  He’s just about a big enough loser to qualify.
Bill Clinton will divorce Hillary and marry the African American former prostitute who is the father of his son.
An affair between Mayor Pete and Floppy Mike will be revealed.
Jeffery Epstein will be found alive in hiding at the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, AR.
Mayor Lori Lightfoot, Gavin Newsome, Rachel Levine, Antony Blinken, Alejandro Majorcas, Bette Midler, Joy Bejar and Roger Goodell will all be revealed as space aliens.
Please leave your own predictions in the comments section below.  Bring on 2022!!!!
Let’s go Brandon!!!!
The staff of the 53rd Regiment

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Show me a …

May 5th, 2021                     Realville, USA

Show me an American city with failing infrastructure and I’ll show you  an entrenched democratic party  that has driven the city into the ground  for decades through self enrichment and democratic mayors that pad their pockets.

Show me a broken education system where children can’t read, schools are dilapidated and teachers don’t care  and I’ll show you the Democratic Teachers Union running the show more focused on  themselves than teaching children.

Show me a state that is running big deficits, that has broken the backs of small businesses through tyrannical dictates during the  China Virus period and has a massive homeless problem and I’ll show you a blue state historically governed by democratic governors.

Show me a state with high taxes, where people are moving to the south and west and businesses are relocating out of the state and I’ll show you a democratic led state that has created an anti free market where the economy is imploding.

Show me a city where crime is rising and there is a defund the police movement and I’ll show you a broken democratic led city that fails to protect its citizenry and their property.

Show me a community where Antifa and BLM own the streets and I’ll show you a woke democratic broken government where shirking their responsibilities is the norm.

Show me a professional sports league where professional athletes regularly take a knee during the presentation of our great American flag and I’ll show you a piss poor commissioner that caters to haters, losers and selfish ingrates.

Show me a legislature that overspends, treats budgets like a monopoly game and taxes the hell out of their citizens and I’ll show you a democratic clown car filled with incompetents, takers and losers.

Show me a politician that has never had a market economy job and is a millionaire and I’ll show you a democrat that has grifted and profited at the expense of the American taxpayers.

Show me a college professor who teaches their students what to think instead of how to think through critical analysis and reasoning and I’ll show you a woke democratic dope that lacks intellectual curiosity.

Show me a Big Tech CEO that puts policies in place to eliminate free speech and censors people they disagree with and I’ll show you a democratic tyrant intimated by intellectual diversity of thought.

Show me a person that believes there are more than two genders and I’ll show you a democratic science denier that lives outside reality.

Please leave a comment if you have a “show me” correlation as well. Love to hear from you.

 

Be heard!

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Maskholes

by Guardian 6

Dateline 20 April 21            Wetlands

Fauci’s disciples appear to be everywhere.  Maskholes are in your neighborhood. They’re in your work environments. You see them on MSM reporting from the Whitehouse, or virtue signaling on the local news. You saw them on the sidelines in March Madness (nobody watches the NBA) or you see them in the dugout at baseball games.

What is a maskhole? A maskhole is a true believer in wearing the mask 24/7 to fight the ChinaVirus even though it provides zero benefit. Many of them even wear the mask in their sleep.

How do you know a maskhole when you see one?

  • A single walker in your neighborhood wearing a mask definitely a maskhole
  • Bike riders wearing a mask, maskhole
  • Hiker wearing a mask, maskhole
  • A politician in front of a camera giving an interview wearing a mask, professional maskhole
  • The person at the other end of your Teams or Zoom call wearing a mask, virtual maskhole
  • The gardener wearing a mask, green maskhole
  • The guy walking their kid to school wearing a mask, dummy maskhole
  • The couple in the bleacher seats at a ballpark sitting by themselves wearing masks, maskholes
  • The weatherman wearing a mask, maskhole
  • The lone driver in their car you see at the light wearing a mask, professional loser maskhole
  • The Karen that goes off on the non-mask wearer at the local store, a despised maskhole
  • The teacher that uses the ChinaVirus to avoid going back to the classroom, maskhole that should be fired
  • The clown that puts a sign in their yard that reads, “wear a mask.” Maskhole
  • The blue state governors that have destroyed local businesses with draconian dictates, tyrannical maskholes

There are many, many more types of maskholes. You’ve met them  simply living your life. Leave a comment telling your maskhole story. Let it rip. Be free.

 

 

 

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Activism is the New Nose Picking

By Blackjack Pershing: @PershingSoldier on Parler; @BlackJackPershing on Gab; @PershingSoldier on Clouthub

 

“I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.”

— Al Yankovic

 

I disagree with Weird Al – he provided us many big laughs over the years.  But there is a new group of nincompoops with an equally disgusting habit that I’d like to discuss with you today: Activists

 

You’ve seen them introduced on news programs ‘Writer and Activist’; ‘Producer and Activist’; Entertainer and Activist’; oh – here’s a good one – ‘Rapper and Activist’.  Substitute nose picker for the word activist in those titles and I’ll have more respect for you.  At least you’d know what you were doing.

 

In today’s world, what does being an ‘Activist’ mean?  Here are a few things that claiming to be an ‘Activist’ will guarantee:

  • You are annoying
  • You are a nuisance
  • You are a killjoy
  • You ruin otherwise good times
  • You won’t STFU
  • You are the one that farts in elevators
  • Your issue is unimportant to those around you
  • You likely have poor personal hygiene
  • You embarrass yourself routinely
  • You are pompous
  • You are likely a narcissist
  • You have halitosis
  • You have zero self-awareness
  • The only ‘active’ things you really do involve getting off the couch during commercials to use the can and raid the fridge again.
  • You can go two knuckles deep in pursuit of that booger.
  • You’re a communist that applies the Marxism to others, but never yourself.
  • You have few if any friends and resort to using social media to create your fake world
  • You are lacking in skills and capabilities, and have decided that calling yourself an Activist is a great diversionary tactic
  • You are a loser, losing loserly on the way to Loserville in a Losermobile

 

How about the clowns that have that word ACTIVIST in their social media profiles.  One positive thing about this is it’s good way to avoid morons.  Like a leper yelling ‘Unclean!’ from a distance 2000 years ago, ACTIVIST on a Linkedin profile screams ‘I am a huge doofus!!!’  Thanks for the tip, Bonehead, I’ll move on.  These yutz’s also frequently have their preferred pronouns posted next to their name: he/him, she/her.  How ‘bout we just go with the gender neutral ‘Big Dummy’or maybe ‘Buffoon’ is more to your liking?

 

Even worse are the ACTIVISTS in media, portraying themselves as legitimate journalists – when they really are leftist activists spewing talking points and propaganda that would make Pravda editors blush.  Stelter.  Cooper.  Tapper.  Cuomo.  Holt.  Todd.  Stephanopoulos.  Sharpton.  Lemon.  Maddow.  Mika & Schmoe.  You know them.  No talent ACTIVISTS.  Nosepickers ALL!  They’d never be welcome at any social event where normal people assemble.  Most of their parents will not let them come over either.  The great Spiro Agnew called them ‘nattering nabobs of negativity.  He knew.

 

Activist Athletes may be the worst.  Colin Kaepernick and Lebron James perhaps the Apex of nose picking absurdity.  One became an activist after being benched, the other clearly owned by China.

 

Like nose pickers, Activists seem to be everywhere.  Unlike many nose pickers, activists don’t try to hide what they do.  The are disgusting and improper in plain sight.  Let’s all shun them and call them out for the disgraceful POS’s they really are and get them a damn Kleenex.  Gross!

 

Non-Activist

BlackJackPershing

 

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2020 Big Dummies of the Year – They Earned it!

By Pershing Soldier                                            17 January 2021

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe.
Albert Einstein
 
Note to readers: 2020 revealed so many dummies, that your favorite dummy may not be included here.  We invite you to list any missing dummies in the comments section below.  Also note: not all democrats are dummies, but most of those who vote for them are in fact, Big Dummies.  
Its that time, fellow patriots, when we sit down and discern the epic failures, hilariously inept and true buffoons amongst us.  2020 provided an eruption of Big Dummies that is historic.  Let’s get to work.
These will be in no particular order as the dummies themselves are in no particular order.
Bret ‘Buffet Table’ Baier, Martha ‘McStupid’ MacCallum and Chris Wallace are our headliners.  These three as well as many other enablers have destroyed Fox News.  There has not been a more spectacular epic fail in television than the Fox News election night implosion.  It will never be matched.  A wicked combination of hubris, isolation and yes, stupidity, resulted in a near 20 year streak of #1 ratings dropping to a distant #3 over night.  And no one has been terminated. Wow.  Just.  Wow.  Congrats Newsmax and OAN – don’t screw this up.  Big Dummy parade at Fox News, especially in the board room.
While we are on cable news, special mention for previous Big Dummy awardee Jeff Zucker at CNN for allowing Project Veritas to invade their daily conference calls, and confirm to the planet that they are the PR wing of the DNC. Big Dummy!!
Is there such a thing as an effective Big Dummy?  Maybe,  Human dirigible and Waffle House terrorist Stacey Abrams managed to pull off a second round of election fraud in Georgia with everyone watching.  Historically conservative GA elected two communists with her leadership, a person claiming to be the legitimate governor of the same state for the last 4 years wile not in office.  Stacey is seemingly, an effective Big Dummy.  She is however, aided by two ineffective Big Dummies, Governor (real one) Brian Kemp, and Secretary of State Brad Raffensberger.  Both are insanely inept and possibly corrupt.
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
― P.G. Wodehouse
(Stacey??????)
While we are on governors, loud mouth commie Andrew Cuomo of NY must be singled out as the Big Dummy he is.  Nursing home deaths, arrogance, leftist policies and an emptying state define this buffoon.  All problems are blamed on others, enabled by a sycophant press that lets him beat on them.  See @realtina40 for the best analysis on #CCC Governor Cuomo.  When you ask yourself how an unpleasant asshat like Cuomo can be elected, the answer is simple: leftist democrats aka Big Dummies.
 
RE: BLM and Antifa – we just offer this quote from George Carlin.  That’s all they get and the deserve much less:
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Knocking Bill DeBlasio aka Warren Wilhelm to the side, temporarily, for Biggest Dummy of all Mayors is Ted Wheeler of Portland, who enabled Antifa/BLM and is also hated by them.  He’s also admitted the shambles his city is in is his fault.  Wow.  But then right there with him is Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan, who you may remember referred to the cesspool known as the CHOP as a ‘summer of love’.  Maybe, if love includes raw sewage, destruction of private property  and rampant theft.  Big Dummy!
In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.
Napoleon Bonapart
There are so many examples of really dumb DNC products roaming around, but lets pick a few of the legends:
Eric Swalwell: notorious on-air farter, inept presidential candidate and now we learn, colluder with the CCP through his paramour, Fang Fang.  Huge Big Dummy and we grant him Big Dummy Hall of Fame status this year.  (incidentally, the current members of the Big Dummy Hall of Fame are Joe Biden, Al Gore and Paul Krugman, so Swalwell joins some lofty company)
Kamala Harris: a dope unliked by even democrats. Lies about most subjects continuously.  Sad.
Emanuel Cleaver: the Missouri congressman is the one who said ‘Amen and Awoman’ at the end of his opening prayer in the house chamber.  He joins legendary Big Dummy Rep Hank Johnson who infamously worried about the island of Guam capsizing due to overpopulation while questioning an Admiral during a committee meeting.  You can’t make this kind of Big Dummy behavior up.
Kim Gardener, the City Attorney of St Louis, must get a mention here for harassing the McCloskeys after they protected their property with their guns.  You may not know that just this past December a circuit judge removed Gardener and her entire team from the case because she used it for campaign fundraising.  The fact that this slob, and yes, Big Dummy, holds the position she does, is a bad sign for the nation.  Another Soros backed disaster.
Irony is wasted on the stupid 
― Oscar Wilde
Indeed Mr Wilde, indeed.  And there is a group of pinheads that don’t see that the very free internet that made their fortunes possible now allows them to practice tyranny, which will eventually put them out of business.  Fascinating and stupid.  So, sociopaths Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg, bald dic pic king Jeff Bezos, technoboob Sundar Pichai of Google and sniveling coward Tim Cooke of Apple have all made the Big Dummy list simultaneously.  They are admittedly smart, but they are also stupid, and do not know history.  They are also fairly destructive toward their businesses and stock holders.  If you hold stock in these institutions, it might be time to dump it.  Alternatives are emerging every single day.  Patriots reject censorship and tyranny regardless of whom it is directed toward.   Further, there is a valid question about the collusion these men took part in to take down a competitor (Parler).  This is not over.  Quick unrelated note, deep research reveals Jack Dorsey practices personal hygiene habits learned from Rep Ilhan Omar. 
This list would be incomplete without Dr Fauci’s inclusion.  He was against masks before he was for them, enjoys being feted by Big Media doofuses and, generally speaking, has been turned into a fake celebrity by those same doofuses.  While he’s more of a Doctor than Jill Biden, its fair to say we all trust Dr Pepper more than both of them.   Dr Scholl’s too.
We have another entrant into the Big Dummy Hall of Fame this year, along with Swalwell, and that is none other than Speaker Nancy Pelosi.  She’s earned this honor by down grading the impeachment process into a cheap threat, a misused tool and a Presidential traffic ticket.  The president she impeached the first time received more votes than any other sitting president in history.  The newest impeachment scheme reveals Pelosi for the malevolent scheming demon she is. Regardless, thinking Americans are dismissing this tactic and moving on.  The backlash will be noteworthy.  By the way, add to her Stalinist reign in the House her infamous ‘Come to Chinatown’ speech as the pandemic was starting and her hypocritical ‘blowout’ in SFO while the nation was locked down. Enjoy the HoF, Madam Speaker, I’d like to say you’re in good company, but its more like stupid company.  You earned it.
When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
― Jonathan Swift
New to the list this year: Republicans! You know the ones.  The disloyal.  The mercenary.  The selfish.  I’ll list a few of the most notorious that were there to abandon Trump immediately.  These are in addition to the two China payees from Georgia already mentioned.
Liz Cheney, on orders from her old man, who’s offended that Trump criticized the unresolved and ineffective wars he helped to start.  the Wyoming GOP has already signaled that this Big Dummy is finished.
Adam Kinzinger, who’s made himself the darling of the leftist mob by criticizing the president.  Mental Lightweight.  Big Dummy.
Mitt Romney.  Big Dummy.
Lyndsey Graham, the most insipid, desperate for attention buffoon, always destroys any good he does with disloyalty.  He just can’t STFU.  Ever.  Big Dummy.
Mitch McConnell betrayed the President quickly, followed by his wife, Elaine Chao.  Both, Big Dummies.  Thinking patriots see through them.  Mitch won his term with Trumps’s help.  Its likely his last.  Let’s hope the old republican party leaves with him.
Are there more Big Dummies out there?  Yes.  Too many.  Its insane.  In the first list back in 2018 we listed most of the media under their networks – otherwise the list would run for too long.
The many retired General Officers in the beltway weighing in on politics should also be added, with Michel Hayden as their poster boy.  Sad angry swamp buffoons.  You’d think they all won a war or something to have that kind of confidence, wouldn’t you?  But they didn’t.  They FAILED.  Big Dummies all.
Let’s end with a quote for all of the dummies mentioned above – and as noted – nominate and recognize your own list of dummies in the comments.
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
― Kurt Vonnegut

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“Economic Intercourse” Come On, Man

by Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH                                                                May 4, 2020 

Former Vice President Joe Biden is absolutely right, “we need more economic intercourse.” A brilliant insight from our slow footed, confused, Democratic Party leader. Come on man, Joe is right and he  has been in DC for so long, he doesn’t know if he’s in the US Senate, the current VP or the Democratic presidential nominee. His lack of mental agility and confusion is exactly what we need in the White House. Lobbyists, PACs, AOC, George Soros and China will be able to take full advantage of Joe and fulfill our progressive agenda.

Former CIA Director Robert Gates gave this evaluation about Joe Biden,  “Biden has been wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades.” Clearly this has not scared away informed democratic voters. Quite to the contrary, the average democratic voter is counting on Joe to get everything wrong. My democratic colleagues love dysfunction, chaos and failure. We pride ourselves on being a Doomsday Machine. Look at democratic led states and cities, they’re a mess. Exactly. As democrats we are not offering independence and prosperity, our main offering is dependency. As democrats we offer unemployment, food stamps and low end equality. Attack the rich, remove opportunity and kill prosperity. Joe Biden will deliver killing opportunity and prosperity for all.

Joe Biden hasn’t had an original thought in decades. He has plagiarized Bernie Sanders and AOCs platform, and candidly it is welcomed. The Biden Platform is plagiarized and glorious:

  1. Living Wage for everyone. $15 in 2020 growing up to $20 by 2050.
  2. Green New Deal. Air travel eliminated in 2024. All gas engine cars must be turned into a processing center for disassembling by July 1st 2022 as part of  the Car Elimination Act.
  3. 31 Genders Federally Standardization. Otherwise known as the Baskin Robins gender mandate, equal opportunity laws will now require gender compliance with federal set-asides to fast track more gender confusion.
  4. Open Borders. Everyone is welcome and Americans will pay for illegal aliens  by paying $3K per student for public school.
  5. Social Monitoring & Scoring (SMS). The FCC will be absorbed in the SMS. The SMS will begin monitoring American communications and scoring each citizen on a scale of 1 to 100, 100 being a fully compliant, progressive thinking citizen that can be trusted. Americans will be assigned the following labels: Progressive Hero 90 – 100; Progressive Worker 80 – 89; Progressive But Too Independent 70-79; Watch List 60 – 69; Republican In Name Only 50 – 59;  Deplorable 1 – 49. Each citizen will be required to use GeoTrack software so their movements can be monitored.
  6. Department of Defense will transition to Internal Defense.
  7. Voting Rights. Citizenship will be eliminated as a requirement to vote and each citizen can vote up to ten times.
  8. Reparations. All African Americans will be given one million dollars  in lumpsum payments. It will not be taxed.
  9. Marijuana Fairness Act. Marijuana will be legalized across the country.
  10. 2nd Amendment Revoked. All guns will be turned in to local police stations no later than 1 September 2021. Hunting Rifle Centers will be established so during hunting season, rifles will be permitted in a lottery system for one week permits in duration.
  11. Medicare For All. Appointments will be rationed by local medical boards based on SMS scoring.

It is an exciting time to be a Joe Biden supporter. Our time has arrived!

          The 53rd Regiment presents a guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper. This is Matthews fourth article written exclusively for the 53rd Regiment. He is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd.  Please share your feedback with Matthews and the 53rd in the comments section. 

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Bernie or Mayor Pete -CommuCrats Future is Now

by Matthews Cooper

Dateline Dayton, OH                                                       February 17, 2020

Let’s not hide it anymore. Bernie is a communist and Mayor Pete is a socialist. They are the new Democratic Party and we should be proud.  A little rebranding is in order. We are now the CommuCrat Party (CP), combining the best of progressive democrats, Lenin communists and statist socialists.  The 2020 Democratic Party Platform should reflect this and our delegates at the Milwaukee Convention should vote on the name change. No more hidden agenda’s and no more hiding who we really are to the American people. We are CP’s and we are CommuCrats and we are proud.

As Bernie says, healthcare is a “human right.” Birth is not a human right because we need less humans to give the Green New Deal a chance. I propose at age seven healthcare becomes a human right if a child makes it that far. At age seven government single payer healthcare is guaranteed. Between birth and age seven, healthcare is dependent on state resources and children aptitude test scores. We should also consider ending healthcare support beyond the age of 75 except for government officials since they deserve preferential treatment. Mayor Bloomberg is right to propose age limits for healthcare. These CommuCrat ideas should be part of our CP platform.

America will become a sanctuary country once Bernie or Pete is elected. Finally, right? No borders, no skills, no immigrant interviews, no papers, no problem. Bernie or Pete absolutely get this. ICE will be disbanded day one of a Bernie presidency. Thank goodness.

Soccer will become America’s game. It will be mandated. The NFL will be outlawed, Curling will be encouraged as a High School sport replacing hockey and NBA teams will become state owned enterprises. Private ownership will be eliminated in all sectors of the economy.

Billionaires will be outlawed. They will transfer their wealth to the Billionaire Wealth Transfer Czar appointed by the President. Bernie or Pete will decide how best to use this money for personal or public benefit. Elites know best how to spend other peoples money and this is a core principle of the new CommuCrat Party.

We areCommuCrats now; louder, prouder and bolder than Biden’s America. While Biden’s Quid Pro Quo with Ukraine and his son benefiting from him being Vice President is admirable, he’s no Bernie. Joe is a CommuCrat lite at best. His time has passed.

The former Democratic Party is now the new CommuCrat Party and we belong to Bernie & Pete. We are proud CommuCrats!

 

The 53rd Regiment presents a guest author, Mr. Matthews Cooper, with an sneak peak at the Democratic Party 2020 platform.  This is Matthews fourth article written exclusively for the 53rd Regiment. He is an old friend with very different views from the 53rd Regiment.  Please share your feedback with Matthews and the 53rd in the comments section. This radical wants to Be Heard. He deserves your unfiltered feedback. 

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Stocking Stuffers for Swamp Dwellers

by Blackjack Pershing

Dateline December 7, 2019       Missouri Territory

Hello 53rd Nation. It’s the time of year again! While we deplorables enjoy our early Christmas gifts from our POTUS, we must start considering a few small items to put in the stockings of the lost souls of the Swamp.

Yes yes yes – we Deplorables have our early Christmas gifts: 3.5% unemployment, a record setting stock market, two solid Supreme Court picks, China being properly managed, NATO deadbeats being pummeled, and soon, AG Barr will bring a gigantic canister of Drano to bust open the nasty clog in the DC drainage ditch.

But – what about gifts for the Swampians? Here are our wonderful stocking stuffers for our favorite swampians:

Nancy Pelosi: for #NervousNancy we are sending a delicious bottle of Extra Strength Prevagen, with a side of fish oil to help with her cognition issues. Oh heck, lets throw in a handle bottle of Grey Goose Vodka.

Adam Schiff: it’s really hard to pick out a gift for a sociopath. We know they are incapable of gratitude, so why bother. But, it is the holiday season. So for little Adam we have a airplane pillow to protect and comfort his teeny tiny neck.

Jerry Nadler: for Nad we have a scooter on loan from Walmart to make his trips down those hallways of the capitol much easier. Gotta be tough on our rotund New Yorker.

Sheila Jackson Lee: for big mouth #EmptyBarrell SJL we have a pair of 1970’s extra large tube socks that we hope she will promptly stuff in her very large pie hole.

Gavin Newsome: for Gavvie we have a hazmat suit he can wear while he goes outside the governor’s mansion to pick up poop and needles. You built that Gavvie. Yes you did.

Michael Bloomberg: newly nicknamed Mini-Mike needs a step ladder, some elevator shoes and a sandwich board he can walk around in that says ‘I’m an important big shot’. You’re welcome Mike.

Bill DeBlasio: Big Bird gets a stinky old green army shirt left behind by his hero Fidel Castro. It smells like cigars and BO.

Mitt Romney: for Mitt we have a wedgie. Mitt obviously will not want a wedgie, but we all know he needs one badly.

Brain Stelter: we have for Brian exactly what he wants: a footlong Ultimate Meatball Marinara sub from Subway.

Chairman Xi: for Mr Big Shot of China we have a lovely gift: a second term for POTUS. Worth waiting for we think.

Bill Kristol and George Will: for these two irrelvant Never Trump yappers we have a prize package of pacifiers, pampers, and extra large bassinets. Sad very large infants.

Whistle blower: or as we like to call him, ‘the blower’, for him we have a visit from AG Barr.

 

Pete Buttegieg: for pious pompous pipsqueak Pete we have a propeller beanie. Won’t it look great on him?

Sleepy Creepy Swampman Dummy Botox China Ukraine Quid Pro Quo Joe Biden: Bite Me Joe gets a double order of Nancy’s Prevagen and Fish Oil, plus some denture adhesive.

Fredo: our hero of Very Fake News fame gets a new hat:

Bette Midler, Rosie, Rob Reiner and Michael Moore: these unhinged leftists obviously suffer from high blood sugar due to poor lifestyle choices. For them we have a good old fashioned eight loss device:

DNC: a generous stocking stuffer: a new vehicle for all of your key players:

Finally for Comey, Brennan, Clapper, Strozk and Page, something helpful:

If you have a stocking stuffer idea for someone we missed, please list them in the comments section. Merry Christmas to all!

 

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Schiff Show

by Matthews Cooper    

Dayton, Ohio                            Dateline November 16th, 2019

We must impeach President Trump, plain and simple. We have no choice if we expect to win the 2020 Presidential Election. As Democrats, Democratic  Socialists and Progressives we must undue the will of Deplorable America. We do not need a crime to impeach Trump. All we need is a false narrative, cooperation from our media friends and our Deep State operatives to perfect the lessons learned from the Russian Collusion Hoax to get it right this time with the Ukrainian Quid Pro Quo. We own the news cycle, we’ve planted key Obama Administration operatives throughout the Intelligence Community and Soros has us well funded.

After Mueller, Congressman Nadler and the Judicial Committee failed us, we are all counting on Congressman Adam Schiff to lead us to the promise land, the formal announcement that President Trump has been impeached. We can smell it, we can see it and we can feel it. Trump baby balloons rising across blue cities in San Francisco, Chicago and LA celebrating a great day in progressive America. The front page of the Washington Post and New York Times with the headline, “Trump Impeached, Leaves White House an Innocent Man.”

Congressman Schiff deserves a medal. When it comes to lying to America without any hint of guilt, he owns the playing field. I am so proud of him as is Nancy, Chuck and our good friends at CNN and MSNBC. Q is no match for Adam, it is Adam who is the Storm. He stares down Deplorables with steely beady bulging eyes and has the mega mind to back it up. When it comes to creating and fabricating new House Rules and turning innocent facts into weapons, Adam Schiff is swinging a 40 ounce bat! The best Nunes & Jordan can do is foul off a couple of his fastballs. I love the way he mistreats that young hissy Congresswoman Stefanik; the Me Too movement doesn’t apply to republican or conservative woman and the media does a great job ignoring his sexist treatment of her.

I am hopeful that we are well on the road to an impeachment party before Christmas. As I wrote about in my March article (https://the53rdregiment.com/2020-democratic-party-platform/) we are  on our way to transforming America into a wasteland of democratic socialism! Give me Bernie, Warren or Mayor Pete! Hell, I’ll even take Biden if I must. Bigger government is the answer to serving the elite Democratic Socialists and taking the power away from the people. Power to us, the Democratic Elites!

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