Tag Archives: blackjack pershing

Christmas Gifts & Stocking Stuffers for the Swamp & Beyond

by Blackjack Pershing       Dateline: December 14th, 2018

Once again 53rd Nation, it’s time to do our Christmas shopping and line up those absolutely perfect gifts for the denizens of the Swamp, and other liberal enclaves across the land.  Let’s jump right in and help Santa make some selections, despite the fact that they’ve all been naughty:

Nancy Pelosi: Nancy gets a Crumbcake so she can have some of her crumbs back.  We also throw in a free visit to the botox emporium of her choice so she can continue to look good while POTUS administers his regular beat downs to her.

Cryin’ Chuck Schumer: Chuck – this year you get a nice package of adult diapers, which you likely needed as you left that oval office beat down the other day.  2019 will bring you many mean POTUS tweets and head punches.  Better get the diapers on regularly.

Jeff Flake: Jeff, now that you have time, the 53rd Nation is going to buy you a nose job.  Get that thing fixed for the love of humanity.  You will also receive some free career counseling to help you in your new gig as a commentator for the Very Fake News – which you’ve been auditioning for the last 2 years.

Mitt Romney: Mitt will get a football helmet.  It’s only a matter of time before POTUS starts to clobber him for the many dopey statements he will make to enshrine himself in the middle of the road – where you find only dead skunks and armadillos – and Mitt.

John Brennan: a new set of pajamas – the ones with footsies sewed on and the trap door on the back.  When he’s not yelling on MSNBC or erupting with irrational anger in his tweets, he will need to stay in bed and eat his mush.  The jammies will make that more comfy for crazy gampy JohnnyB.

James Comey: clearly a narcissist sociopath – we’ll get Jim his favorite thing: a mirror.

Rosie O’Donnell: Rosie likes carbs, so under her tree we will leave many many many potato products: French fries, tater tots, mashed potatoes, Twice baked potatoes, etc.  Yum yum for Rosie!

Joy Bejar: we gotta do Joy a favor and get her a muzzle.  Sometimes our loyal dogs are unfriendly to strangers and it’s the only way to prevent unfortunate accidents.  Ruff!

Babs Streisand: Babs doesn’t bring us flowers – or talent  – anymore.  Only mean bitter hack tweets about our president.  We’ll get Babs a rocking chair and some knitting needles to keep her busy while she reflects on the old days.

Maxine Waters: what Mad Max needs is a civics course and a new set of wigs  – we got ya Max.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: This young person also needs a civics course.  We like her foolish nonsense though, so instead of civics, we will sign her up for some yoga and wine tasting classes to help keep her in #BigDummy status for as long as possible.

Stephen King: talented writer but Stalinist leftist Stephen King gets a free relocation to Cuba or Venezuela – his choice.  He can take formless Human Blob Michael Moore and insane knucklehead Sean Penn with him.

Bill Kristol: what do you get for the washed up neo-con know it all that seems to tweet angrily at POTUS all day long?  Sad bitter lonely hack Bill needs serious therapy.  For starters we send him Jordan Peterson’s Twelve Rules for Life with the suggestion that he start reading the chapter on Rule 9: Assume the person you’re listening to might know something you don’t.  Try it Uncle Bill. 

John Kasich: chronic bad eater and complainer John gets a bib for starters, to help him when he eats slices of pizza from the wrong end with overly large bites.  We do not expect him to change this disgusting habit so we will provide the means to help keep things tidy.  We will also throw in some wet wipes. 

Claire McCaskill: Claire gets a hearty thank you for clearing the deck for a Trump backed conservative in the 2nd MO senate seat.  Also – her choice of a free all you can eat serving of Ted Drewes Custard, Pappy’s BBQ, Toasted Ravioli, Gooey Butter Cake or other high calorie MO delicacy of her choice.  Nom Nom Nom Claire. 

Don Lemon: Buffoon and CNN mouthpiece Don gets a propeller beanie to wear while he routinely soils himself on national TV.  It will be a good look and definite upgrade.

Jim Acosta: mouthy white house press room toddler gets a time out and no dessert and a lump of coal from 53rd Nation.  May qualify for #Bonehead of the year. 

Dan Rather: irrelevant Dan keeps weighing in on POTUS from the deep dark cellar he dwells in.  We give Dan a box set of old 60 Minutes DVD’s he can watch to revel in the times he was relevant.  Poor Dan.  We’d still #RatherNot 

Stelter, Cooper, Mika, Joe, Tapper, Todd, David Muir, and  all CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS Very Fake News correspondents: The 53rd Nation is upgrading your clown car to a clown VW Bus, 1968 version.  You’ll all be more comfortable in there. 

Have I missed a gift opportunity?  Please share your thoughts in the comments   section.

Merry Christmas!



Random Musings on Current Events

 St. Louis, Missouri      Dateline May 2nd, 2018

by Blackjack Pershing

Red Pill Kanye

Are you familiar with the ‘red pill’ ‘blue pill’ memes currently popular on social media?

From Wikipedia: The terms, popularized in science fiction culture, are derived from the 1999 film The Matrix. In the film, the main character Neo is offered the choice between a red pill and a blue pill by rebel leader Morpheus. The red pill would free him from the enslaving control of the machine-generated dream world and allow him to escape into the real world, but living the “truth of reality” is harsher and more difficult. On the other hand, the blue pill would lead him back to stay in the comfortable simulated reality of the Matrix.

Red Pill Kanye has arrived and we welcome him with open arms. We wondered if in our lifetime black culture in the US could ever bust out of the norms created in the 60’s by Johnson’s Great Society train wreck. It was slow in coming. Bill Cosby did a little of it before his perversion was revealed (Bad Pill Bill!). Condi Rice. Colin Powell before he went bad. Herman Cain before he imploded. Remember Alan Keyes? Roy Innis, who famously knocked over the fat version of Al Sharpton on the Morton Downey Jr. show in the 80’s, and who’s son Niger carries on his tradition. Clarence Thomas. LTC(R) Alan West. A handful of great African American conservative congressmen. Not many though.

But here comes Kanye, and due to his formerly strong affiliation with the Stalinist left, the ongoing red pill explosion is wonderful to watch. At first we thought- ok – he’s giving a little up to Trump due to their friendship. Then came the tweets of Thomas Sowell and the meetings with Charlie Kirk and Candace Owens.  Biggest shock of all? An apology for saying George W Bush hated black people. Chance the Rapper screwed up and crawled back into his hole after being supportive “black people don’t have to be democrats’. Not Kanye. He’s tripled down. Fellow deplorables let’s enjoy this while it lasts. I wonder if his conservative Father-in –law Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner had anything to do with this conversion?

Look for Trump to draw 25%+ of the black vote in 2020.

Tom Brokaw
Wrote the Greatest Generation. Thank You. Other than that, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Your pious yet pompous dissing of the deplorables and their president has yielded you and very very bigly plate of KARMA. ENJOY!

White House Correspondents Dinner

Trump is now clairvoyant. He called it. He skipped what turned out to be in his words a ‘complete disaster’. Trump does the uncomfortable knowing that in the end, style points and socializing with phonies won’t get results. He won’t waste time on the Pravda Left MSM Class because they are never going to be fair. NEVER. He gets it. So what did they do? They soiled their diaper again, writ large and broadcast to everyone with a lousy court jester that read her nasty lines from paper. This event may be the most accurate metaphor for the swamp ever constructed. It was the swamp. Don’t look for reform any time soon. Who do the people at the #WHCD remind of us of?
· The snobby wealthy people in the various 3 stooges episodes that get pulled into pie fights
· The preppie rich kids who all sat together at lunch in high school
· The godless hoards that taunted Noah before the floods
· The crowds that yelled ‘crucify him’ before Pilot
· The French aristocracy right before the revolution
· The worst bosses all of us have ever had gathered in one place

@POTUS had a blast in Michigan and also provided entertainment to many, while the rabble of the press corps put their incontinence on public display. Again. #SAD

Elmer Fudd aka Robert Mueller

It occurs to us that there is a vast similarity between the venerable cartoon character Elmer Fudd and Robert Mueller, formerly described here as Lurch. “Shhhhhhhhhh!! BE VEWY VEWY quiet! We’re Hunting Wabbits!!”. Then, as we know, all manner of travails would befall poor Elmer. Somehow anvils would fall on his head, he’d fall over cliffs or down mine shafts, have his shot gun spun round only to go off in his face repeatedly. Often Bugs Bunny or a combination of Bugs and Daffy Duck were responsible for his many, many problems. In essence, Elmer was a dupe and foil for Bugs. See where we’re headed here? Trump is Bugs Bunny. Daffy Duck appears from time to time in the guise of Sean Hannity, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Rep Devin Nunez, and many others. Mueller creeps along quietly with his trusty two barrel shotgun hunting ‘Wussians’ and keeps having issues. We are not sure when he will come to his senses and call it quits – just like Elmer. Oh well. As Elmer might say “Huh-uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh !!!!”

Rocket Man

Red Pill Rocket Man? We don’t know. Most likely “Ass Kicked during Beijing visit’ Rocket Man – but we’ll take what we can get. Black Jack predicts an eventually successful agreement with North Korea, and, ZERO chance of Trump getting a Nobel Peace Prize. Those are reserved for the Stalinist Left.

Bibi’s Powerpoint

What does Netanyahu of Israel do best? De-pants Iran. He just did. Thank you – more unravelling of BO and the Windsurfer Kerry’s dopey deeds. Iran Deal will have to be re-done or just die. Iran should be watching Rocket Man closely. Despite the story not being told, the world seems to be welcoming Trumpian leadership. Dad’s home and the BS is gonna stop.

New Trump World Order

Anyone else noticing how the rest of the world is falling in line behind ‘mob boss’ in Comey’s words POTUS? Let’s inventory:
· Rocket Man – as described above has moved from trading barbs and testing nukes to hugging at the DMZ
· French President Macron – from OMG death grip handshake to ‘I love DJT so much I can’t keep my hands off him’; supports Syria head punches
· Kaiser Merkel – from public doubts to flying in to have no drama meetings
· Japanese President Abe – staunch ally from the start
· Chinese Premiere Xi – seems to be playing ball despite the trade noise
· Dictator Putin – pretty quiet considering multiple head punches administered to his lapdog Syria
· Mexico – very quiet despite the President’s constant concerns about the border
· Iran – on notice with Bibi’s Powerpoint
· Canada – who cares
· England – supported Syria Op with France
· Poland – got one of the first visits by the president to another nation and got a huge endorsement from him – and some missiles too
· Nigeria – wonderful visit just this week!

What’s happening here folks? Bush’s axis of evil is getting dealt with. Obama’s bad deals getting cleaned up. Years of lax border control are over. Low business taxes attracting investment and even getting compliments from abroad. It’s a new Trump world order.

Bromance and the Kaiser

Oh boy – some grabby/huggy moments from the French King wannabe Macron and the POTUS. Well – maybe our president is starved of affection at home due to his stormy publicity and will take it where he can get it. Oh Dear. While we doubt some of his Euro-centric agenda, we welcome a French President who seems to bathe, who loves America, and who thanks our veterans. Refreshing. We can work with this guy. Then the sour German Kaiser shows up to round out the week. Whatever.

Misery in Missouri

We stand by Governor Greitens and believe he deserves his day in court for the crazy accusations against him involving taking a picture of his former mistress 2 years before he was elected. Disappointing dirt bag stuff if true, yes, but we vote people into office based primarily on their policies and not on their sins or lack thereof. Character is always a crap shoot with any human. We believe the charges on election fraud are stupid and meaningless. Let him serve out his term and let’s move on when the trial is over. The Attorney General who hopes to replace Worthless Claire McCaskill should pipe down. Greitens managed to sign Right to Work legislation and start a tax reduction debate so far. Not bad for a wounded governor.

Momentum in Missouri

We welcome and endorse former B-2 pilot and Air Force veteran Tony Monetti for Senate in MO.

Sad, worthless, unproductive, lost in the past Claire McCaskill, already retired in terms of behavior, should be officially retired as well. Just another elitist fat cat democrat that doesn’t serve the electorate and lives like a millionaire. Let’s not let Claire keep drinking wine with Chuck and Nancy while we drink water or get nothing. Claire represents the past – the late 1970’s specifically – when everything just kind of sucked. Tony Moetti stated on a radio program recently: “Fighter pilots make movies, bomber pilots make history!’ We agree. Tony is normal, smart, energetic, modern, engaged with normal people and will fight for us. Josh Hawley? Not yet Josh. Not even with old man Danforth’s very waspy endorsement. Not yet.

That’s it for the musings – comments welcome!