by Blackjack Pershing
Dateline March 11th, 2019 Missouri Territory
“You big Dummy!” - Fred G Sanford, circa 1975
If you follow me, @pershingsoldier, on Twitter, you may be aware that I have little patience for Big Dummies. In these perilous times it seems we’ve had an overrun of Big Dummies and its time to recognize their efforts with the first official Big Dummy Awards, sponsored by The 53rd Regiment. I will try to be succinct, as the situation is truly ‘so many dummies, so little time!’ Here we go:
Jeff Zucker: Perennially weight and follically challenged leader of the Very Fake News outlet CNN recently had a gaseous fit at the SXSW conference; here is a bit of what came out of his mouth: “I think the question should be, is Fox state-run TV or is the White House state-run government by Fox TV?” This is beyond rich coming from the Democrat’s lead propagandist, one who’s network actually leaked debate questions to Hillary Clinton in 2016. The staff at Fox at least admit they are doing commentary, whereas the hacks at CNN present their preposterous selves as ‘news’ people. Jeff gave us a glimpse at how far gone he and his ilk really are. Big Dummy. Congrats.
CNN and Washington Post: These are the first two victims of lawsuits filed by L. Lin Wood on behalf of Nick Sandman, the Covington Catholic student in the incident on the mall during the National Right to Life march. Their aggressive Very Fake News tactics have now resulted in very real defamation lawsuit that may do serious damage to their bottom lines. Their reputations are already in tatters. Both orgs are literally armies of Big Dummies. Congrats.
Claire McCaskill:After two precarious terms where she got away with barely representing her constituents in Missouri, masquerading as a moderate Democrat, the Trump era exposed her. Deplorables in Missouri handed her a clear defeat at the hands of a relative novice Republican. Claire's missteps were really just mistaken glimpses of authentic Claire - the fat cat that lives by one set of standards, while the rest of us can eat cake. Claire enriched herself in DC in classic style and accomplished nothing. Claire used a private airplane bt presented herself as riding a bus. Its all tired and most important its over. Claire took a job as a contributor to MSNBC. Big Dummy. Congrats.
Jussie Smollett:Too much has been said already. He’s done more damage to his cause than any real hate crime could have. Big Dummy. Congrats.
Brennan, Comey and Clapper:These three swampians really are a trifecta of stupidity. The three are not only complicit in the so called insurance policy but have been arrogant in their post Obama Administration comments. All three have had roles that require silence for professionalism. All three have violated a sacred trust and at least two of the three have admitted leaking classified information. Two of the three are known for infantile outbursts on Twitter. The third may not know what a smart phone is. This kind of buffoonery speaks to the low standards by which they were hired. All three may be up for charges at some point when the new AG gets into his groove. # Big Dummies; congrats.
Alexandria Occasio Cortez: This epic enabled brat has had so many dopey verbal outbursts that its hard to keep up. Cow farts are now part of the vernacular thanks to her. Claims that most people have two jobs. Claims that Reagan dived the country with intent. Putting a fresh bow and some air freshener on socialism. Screwing up the Amazon deal in NYC. Hiring her boyfriend. Let’s keep this one short. Huge Big Dummy. Congrats.
Cher:Just check out her twitter feed. It veers between what shoes to wear and angry outbursts about the president; recently she congratulated Speaker Pelosi for standing up to ‘old white men’, and it’s not lost on any of us that her and the speaker are part of the mall walker generation, albeit nicely stretched and spry. Laura Ingraham’s famous advice to ‘shut up and sing’ applies here. BlackJack actually likes Cher, especially the 1980’s Cher in the ‘Turn Back Time’ video on the battleship. More of that Cher. Less ignorant yapping please. Big Dummy. Congrats.
Bill Kristol:Where to begin. Bill is the poster boy for bitter never trump elitist losers that never got over Jeb being drummed out the 2016 race like the fat kid that gets taken out of a dodge ball game in the opening round, with broken glasses and tears running down his face. They are just holding a grudge. Meanwhile happy warrior POTUS gets done everything two Bushes could not, quickly and BIGLY, while relating to his voters authentically. Like the rich people dragged into a pie fight in a Three Stooges short, they are permanently outraged. Poopy Pants Bill tweets constantly about imagined charges of corruption, fantasy primary challenges to Trump, and just plain cheap shots that fall flat. While Bill may indeed have a high IQ, he is in fact, at this time, in this context, a major league Big Dummy.
Bill DeBlasio and NYC Residents:Pseudo commie doofus will soon bankrupt NYC for the first time in a generation. He is in a tie with all NYC residents who elected him for complete Big Dummy status. Morons all. After successful terms of Giuliani and Bloomberg who kept the place clean and crime down, they all decide to revert to the 1970’s. Have we seen anything this stupid on such a scale? Maybe. Anyway, congrats Big Apple Big Dummies!
Justin Trudeau:Let’s go international here for a moment and give special mention to JT up in the Great White North. After accomplishing a global costume party on an epic scale, JT is now embroiled in a very dopey scandal involving corporate state tactics, job dismissals, etc. It’s a boring story, like most things Canadian (sorry Canuck readers). But anyway, JT, suit up in your Sikh Turban, fire up the bong, and enjoy being a Big Dummy.
Little Rocket Man aka Kim Jong Un:He’s screwing with the wrong guy. We’ll leave it there. FatBoy will learn soon that he’s a major league Big Dummy if he starts the rocket crap again. #sad
Finally, we announce the Big Dummy Hall of Fame, populated by dummies so notorious, they need to be enshrined right away. Here is the inaugural class of the Big Dummy HoF, and let’s give them all hearty congratulations:
Joe Biden:Uncle Joe is a legend: from his plagiarism in the distant past, to his buffoonery during the Clarence Thomas hearings, to his comment that you had to be from India to work at a 7-11, to his description of Barack Obama as articulate and ‘clean’, to his many moronic gaffs during the Obama presidency, Uncle Joe just takes the cake. Recently he said Mike Pence was a nice guy and immediately took it back when the Stalinist left went nuts. So in addition to being a HoF Big Dummy, he’s also a coward. Very very bigly sad, Uncle Joe. But congrats on being a HoF Big Dummy!
Al Gore: We were all supposed to be ankle deep in ocean water by now according to the self-appointed prophet of the GlobalWarmingClimateChangeCO2We’reAllGoingToDie doomsday cult. Al doubles down on his doomsday forecasts all the while flying around in private jets and creating a personal carbon footprint only outdone by his personal flatulence footprint. Chunky and shrill Al Gore really is just another Big Dummy, but gets HoF status due to the gargantuan size of his Chicken Little boobery.
‘Economist’ and Witch Doctor for the left, Paulie K spends every day predicting a recession while a republican is president, and every day explaining away lousy economic numbers when a democrat is president. His record of being wrong is well established. This useful and willing idiot for all of the Very Fake News outlets is the perfect icon for what many call ‘the dismal science’, since his whole persona is pretty dismal. Congrats to you Paul, Big Dummy HoF’er.
That’s the opening round for Big Dummy Awards. We look forward to revisiting this list occasionally for more awards and recognition. There are certainly more Hall of Famers out there as well; your recommendations are welcome. All Hail Big Dummies! Long Live Big Dummies!!!!
PS – for any Big Dummies reading this, most of the ones identified are white and male, so don’t be getting your Big Dummy Racist accusations warmed up!