Candidates for Dummies

by Black Jack Pershing

We have witnessed plenty of change in the last 30 years. We have seen the end of the Greatest Generation’s stewardship of the country, the Boomers’ chaotic attempt to lead the country and the first Gen X’er President, the unlikely Obama. Anyone who falls even slightly to the right has to be feeling similar to me: bewildered, irritated, disgusted, worried.

· Bewildered at the disappearance of our founding principles as a basis civil society and government in the US

· Irritated at the opposite: the emergence of real selfishness and self-indulgence as the basis for the way the country is run

· Disgusted at the disappearance of strong ethical leadership in most large institutions. I’d add the emergence of a ‘screw the little guy’ ethic among business leaders.

· Worried: that it may be too late to turn any of this around. If it is to be turned around – who will lead it articulately, genuinely, ethically, effectively?

· The passing of Judge Scalia inspired this essay. I don’t think I have ever been more worried about the US; the passing of Scalia once again opens the door to even more radicalization of how government is led.
The Candidates:

Clinton: Awful. The longer the primary season goes on, the more she will seem like a bad throwback and reminder of low brow nonsense. Just. Awful. The Democrats should be embarrassed and ashamed and many are. Criminal.

Bernie: he is emblematic of the spoiled brat generation coming into view. He is the ultimate socialist Santa Clause to the griping entitled. We cannot even blame welfare recipients for Bernie. His fans are predominantly young and white. They were never taught history or civics. They are mobile device staring self-obsessed zomboids. Created by dopey over managing Boomers who can’t let them make a decision without therapy sessions and micro-management. And they want free stuff. Free education Bernie? Why – so they can get a Women’s’ Studies or Art History degree and be even more useless? How about tech school and learning a trade so you can at least be useful, you little jerks?

Trump: the ultimate outgrowth of reality TV and all the dummies that hang on ‘what’s on TV tonight?’. He is the hero of the uninvolved dummies of society that watch TV as pastime and have nothing going on socially. He is a product of the entertainment industry – gone rogue. He is the champion of those who are pissed off but don’t know why. They don’t know why because they never read anything and watch CSI Whatever and Celebrity Apprentice. But they’ve been screwed for real and they want to get back at those who did it. Trump is great at calling out the easiest targets, oversimplifying everything and mastering sound bites. He reflects the USA well right now: bellicose, inarticulate, seemingly angry, and kind of a fat slob. I am guessing many trumpians voted for Obama because they felt we needed a black president. These kinds of people are the worst kinds of Americans because they combine being uninformed with being confident about their choices. They are always right until they are not. Many trumpians are independents and smug about it. Of course we all know that the middle of the road is for dead armadillos and yellow stripes. If I have to – I will vote for Trump but it still seems surreal – or – maybe if Lyndon LaRoushe is on the ballot again I will consider that.

Jeb: Bush fatigue is real. The low energy thing is legit – at least when he is talking. He likely could have been more effective than his brother or father but people are staying away from him in droves. Good guy. Has integrity. Just not his time. Too bad for Jeb. I could vote for him. He is not too old, but he seems to represent something that is almost gone – I’d call them caretaker republicans. They usually don’t screw things up but they don’t make anything better.

Carson: Hard to take him seriously given his quiet and almost sleepy persona , but he’s smart, patient, accomplished, and has integrity. If he drops out we will have lost the best example of class in the republican pool. Was great to see a guy like him run. I could vote for him. I wish he had a real chance. He lacks killer instinct.

Rubio: Great on paper. Not so great in reality. Seems like an over eager Cub Scout, or a senior on the high school debate team trying too hard to be glib. His ears are simply too large for him to be president. I could vote for him and if he does break through I hope he grows up fast and can defend himself. Allowing himself to be depantsed by the New Jersey Sumo showed real weakness and lack of preparation. Let’s face it – Senators are too compromised and argue about meaningless nonsense. All of them.

Cruz: certainly a favorite among the conservatives that vote 100% principle or against a long list of ‘must have’ views. The problem with that kind of inventory is that it leaves out likeability, of which, Ted has very little. Ted is the guy everyone hated in high school, who asked if there was homework at the end of class. Ted was also one of the early targets in any gym class dodgeball game; he usually got hit in the crotch or the face and limped off to the side in disgrace. He is the know-it-all we all deal with at work that you pray will just shut up at meetings. He is also unacquainted with pushups, running, or any kind of fitness. Hard for me to support him but I will if he gets the nomination.

Kasich: reasonable. Kind. Positive. Experienced. Great record as a governor. Gets legitimate criticism for enacting parts of Obama-care in his state. He may be another caretaker republican. Currently he’s the only one I can endorse, now that Fiorina is out. He has charisma and persona could counter Hilary’s nastiness with a bemused attitude about all of her fascist views. Kasich strikes me as the only Repub that could make a legitimate claim to be a champion for the little guy.

Regrets: Fiorina is smart as heck but has come across as shrill and mean at times. Has not broken through. Likely lacks requisite charisma to win. May have gone overboard on the Botox.

Black Jack Pershing’s Republican Wish List: Trump’s punishing message to companies that move operations out of the country should be maintained. Border must be sealed regardless of the disposition of the illegals. (too much technical goofy and uninteresting arguments are going on among the candidates about their orthodoxy related to amnesty. Yeah yeah yeah.) Rand Paul’s talk about loss of liberty is legit. Most repubs are ignoring it. ISIS must be eliminated and the US needs a permanent and sizeable base in the Middle East – permanently. BO blew it in Iraq where we could have done this. Regardless of whether you believe in Climate Change – cheap renewable energy must be developed both for conservation and security reasons. A post oil world benefits all of us. The large energy companies should be incented to work on this long term. The size of the US government should be cut by a third through the implementation of simple policies and technology. There are too many ignoramuses in the US. The teaching of American history and civics must be improved. Corporate tax rates must be brought down to at least 20% and permanent laws about what fair taxation consists of should be written. What is fair? Likely no more than 25% of anyone’s income should ever be confiscated by the state. Ever. We need to get it defined and stop arguing about it. On the social side – almost all is lost due to changing norms. Republicans should strategically focus on liberty and individualism. Science will likely prove the true genocide than abortion is and it should decline. Repubs should stay where they are on that issue. All others? Rely on federalism to let the states work the issues out. Let the churches speak out in society on all issues about personal morality – Republican politicians should just focus on limiting the scope and creep of government control. Finally – unless a republican group emerges that can engage the Hispanic population, they will be lost for decades – much as the Irish were in the early 20th century. I am not hopeful about any of this, but I hope I am surprised as the coming year unfolds.
Disagree? Write your own column, snapperhead!

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