Ram-i-festo (NFL)

Ramifesto” by Black Jack Pershing

I am an adopted St Louisan. I love it. I have lived all over the US to include both coasts and many places in between. For those of us that like a good run in humidity because it makes us feel alive, who love baseball, who love a great neighborhood pub, who love down to earth real friends, and who love interesting American history, this town is just fine. If you think it’s just Ferguson and the Arch – maybe you need to read about your country more.

Anyway. Some thoughts on the Rams, a team I was never a fan of, even when I lived in LA and they were there.

1. Date and you might be disappointed: before we get into anything else, let’s agree that the Rams left LA and were romanced to come to St Louis. Sometimes you end just as you start.

2. History, Heritage, Ritual, Pride: all of the best organizations whether they be sports teams, companies, or religions have shared heritage that is celebrated. Think about the Steelers. Think about the Packers. Think about even those irritating Cowboys. They are iconic and reflective of their cities. The baseball Cardinals are pure St Louis. Reflective of the town. History? Google it. Heritage: Stan the Man and so many more. Ritual? Meet me at the Stan the Man statue. Pride? What other team opens their season with the Budweiser Clydesdales circling the field. I’ve been there with tears welling up to see it. My point? The Rams had none of that. ZERO. The team was initially well managed and bravo: The greatest show on turf, etc – thank you Dick Vermeil. But it wasn’t real. It was a fluke. The Edward Jones Dome is nice. Certainly a fine place to see a game. But it’s not what you would call a cathedral to football. How could it be? It was built for a team that wasn’t here yet. And the namesake Rams? Native to St Louis? Hmmmmm. That doesn’t add up. A Football team from St Louis should ideally be called the Brew Masters or The Big Muddy’s – inspire us please.

3. Kroenke: a low class dope from a small town in Missouri who is still trying to prove he can hang out with the big boys. Read his interview in the LA Times. Awkard and pathetic and so eager to please that community. Kharma will prevail. They denied Rush Limbaugh the team out of political correctness. At least he’d never curry favor with nauseating west coast elites.

4. LA: it sucks. Nice weather. The end. The Rams and Raiders both left. Nothing has changed since the early 90’s. I am proud to say I attended the last game both teams played in LA, against each other. To this day it is known as the game that holds the record for the most fan fights in the stands. More than 300 were arrested or thrown out. I guess they thought it was their last chance. It is hard to get anywhere in LA, and most people do not want to sit in traffic 90 minutes both ways to attend an NFL game. This is why both teams left. Fans were not up for it. Kroenke picked Inglewood for the new stadium. A dangerous area often mentioned in old school rap songs. No one will want to drive there. Further – unlike St Louis, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Dallas, or DC, LA is not a real city – it’s a region of sprawling communities. There is very little civic pride. Good luck Kroenke. You will need it. And no matter what, you will never fit in and never be liked out there. They think you are a useful tool.

5. The NFL: It hires people of bad character, rewards them and defends them. It is a money oriented machine. It’s all been said. Their role in this whole thing is something like a hybrid between a madam of a very large whore house and Pontius Pilot. These are dishonorable people. These are dishonest people. These are cynical people. My best guess is that they are eyeing an international model based on the interest in some cities like London and Toronto in having their own teams. I’ve met lots of European NFL fans. It’s something different for those poor souls who have had to watch the ‘beautiful game’ all their lives.

6. St Louis: this town needs to get its act together with an aggressive growth plan with appropriate incentives for businesses. Almost in spite of itself it has a very vibrant startup and tech sector emerging and plenty of good news happening. The new stadium development site would have worked miracles on a large stretch of riverfront that needs an overhaul. That’s too bad. Mayor Francis Slay has said “I’m done with the NFL” I hope he sticks to his words. Let’s get a professional soccer team (the beautiful game again) since most kids have now grown up with that sport and just start over.

7. It won’t happen – but I would love to see the country abandon the NFL to an extent that would render the investments of all the skunks involved in it useless. Are there good people in the NFL? Of course. But they are not winning the day or influencing positive outcomes.
Summary: St Louis: good; Kroenke: bad; NFL: bad; LA: bad; Inglewood: even worse. Oh yeah – forgot to mention – Jeff Fisher: bad too.Ramifesto

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