Tag: humor

Activism is the New Nose Picking

By Blackjack Pershing: @PershingSoldier on Parler; @BlackJackPershing on Gab; @PershingSoldier on Clouthub

 

“I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.”

— Al Yankovic

 

I disagree with Weird Al – he provided us many big laughs over the years.  But there is a new group of nincompoops with an equally disgusting habit that I’d like to discuss with you today: Activists

 

You’ve seen them introduced on news programs ‘Writer and Activist’; ‘Producer and Activist’; Entertainer and Activist’; oh – here’s a good one – ‘Rapper and Activist’.  Substitute nose picker for the word activist in those titles and I’ll have more respect for you.  At least you’d know what you were doing.

 

In today’s world, what does being an ‘Activist’ mean?  Here are a few things that claiming to be an ‘Activist’ will guarantee:

  • You are annoying
  • You are a nuisance
  • You are a killjoy
  • You ruin otherwise good times
  • You won’t STFU
  • You are the one that farts in elevators
  • Your issue is unimportant to those around you
  • You likely have poor personal hygiene
  • You embarrass yourself routinely
  • You are pompous
  • You are likely a narcissist
  • You have halitosis
  • You have zero self-awareness
  • The only ‘active’ things you really do involve getting off the couch during commercials to use the can and raid the fridge again.
  • You can go two knuckles deep in pursuit of that booger.
  • You’re a communist that applies the Marxism to others, but never yourself.
  • You have few if any friends and resort to using social media to create your fake world
  • You are lacking in skills and capabilities, and have decided that calling yourself an Activist is a great diversionary tactic
  • You are a loser, losing loserly on the way to Loserville in a Losermobile

 

How about the clowns that have that word ACTIVIST in their social media profiles.  One positive thing about this is it’s good way to avoid morons.  Like a leper yelling ‘Unclean!’ from a distance 2000 years ago, ACTIVIST on a Linkedin profile screams ‘I am a huge doofus!!!’  Thanks for the tip, Bonehead, I’ll move on.  These yutz’s also frequently have their preferred pronouns posted next to their name: he/him, she/her.  How ‘bout we just go with the gender neutral ‘Big Dummy’or maybe ‘Buffoon’ is more to your liking?

 

Even worse are the ACTIVISTS in media, portraying themselves as legitimate journalists – when they really are leftist activists spewing talking points and propaganda that would make Pravda editors blush.  Stelter.  Cooper.  Tapper.  Cuomo.  Holt.  Todd.  Stephanopoulos.  Sharpton.  Lemon.  Maddow.  Mika & Schmoe.  You know them.  No talent ACTIVISTS.  Nosepickers ALL!  They’d never be welcome at any social event where normal people assemble.  Most of their parents will not let them come over either.  The great Spiro Agnew called them ‘nattering nabobs of negativity.  He knew.

 

Activist Athletes may be the worst.  Colin Kaepernick and Lebron James perhaps the Apex of nose picking absurdity.  One became an activist after being benched, the other clearly owned by China.

 

Like nose pickers, Activists seem to be everywhere.  Unlike many nose pickers, activists don’t try to hide what they do.  The are disgusting and improper in plain sight.  Let’s all shun them and call them out for the disgraceful POS’s they really are and get them a damn Kleenex.  Gross!

 

Non-Activist

BlackJackPershing

 

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Schiff Show

by Matthews Cooper    

Dayton, Ohio                            Dateline November 16th, 2019

We must impeach President Trump, plain and simple. We have no choice if we expect to win the 2020 Presidential Election. As Democrats, Democratic  Socialists and Progressives we must undue the will of Deplorable America. We do not need a crime to impeach Trump. All we need is a false narrative, cooperation from our media friends and our Deep State operatives to perfect the lessons learned from the Russian Collusion Hoax to get it right this time with the Ukrainian Quid Pro Quo. We own the news cycle, we’ve planted key Obama Administration operatives throughout the Intelligence Community and Soros has us well funded.

After Mueller, Congressman Nadler and the Judicial Committee failed us, we are all counting on Congressman Adam Schiff to lead us to the promise land, the formal announcement that President Trump has been impeached. We can smell it, we can see it and we can feel it. Trump baby balloons rising across blue cities in San Francisco, Chicago and LA celebrating a great day in progressive America. The front page of the Washington Post and New York Times with the headline, “Trump Impeached, Leaves White House an Innocent Man.”

Congressman Schiff deserves a medal. When it comes to lying to America without any hint of guilt, he owns the playing field. I am so proud of him as is Nancy, Chuck and our good friends at CNN and MSNBC. Q is no match for Adam, it is Adam who is the Storm. He stares down Deplorables with steely beady bulging eyes and has the mega mind to back it up. When it comes to creating and fabricating new House Rules and turning innocent facts into weapons, Adam Schiff is swinging a 40 ounce bat! The best Nunes & Jordan can do is foul off a couple of his fastballs. I love the way he mistreats that young hissy Congresswoman Stefanik; the Me Too movement doesn’t apply to republican or conservative woman and the media does a great job ignoring his sexist treatment of her.

I am hopeful that we are well on the road to an impeachment party before Christmas. As I wrote about in my March article (https://the53rdregiment.com/2020-democratic-party-platform/) we are  on our way to transforming America into a wasteland of democratic socialism! Give me Bernie, Warren or Mayor Pete! Hell, I’ll even take Biden if I must. Bigger government is the answer to serving the elite Democratic Socialists and taking the power away from the people. Power to us, the Democratic Elites!

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Baggers

Undervalued, underappreciated and arguably overworked, the American Bagger, formerly known as a “Bag Boy” back in the day, is one of the under celebrated entry jobs in the American work force. While the position has grown in complexity and scale over the past decades, the best grocery chains continue to invest in these junior positions to identify skills and talents that can progress to cashier (think banking skills), stock clerk (think fulfillment center) and or management material. It is much more than just “paper or plastic,” baggers must have the mental agility to organize, anticipate and forecast content packaging before placement in the bag. You either “have it” or you don’t.

Bagging is never as simple as bread and eggs on top, give me a break. This is actually insulting to those of us who have lived the life, earned the stripes and been there in the trenches inheriting three carts worth of groceries backed up on the conveyor belt with an angry cashier and customer looking at you when you arrive like “hello, where you been?!” In a word, pressure. The clock has been ticking and one of your bagger-mates allowed this problem to manifest by not having the courage to jump in and meet the challenge. It’s just like anything in life, there are always a few slackers not carrying their weight. It really chaps my ass! To my fellow baggers, get in the fight, grab the mantle and seize the moment. This is your opportunity for greatness.

Many in the bagger community feel targeted by the Obama recession. In the 1980’s the American Bagger Society had 327,543 active contributing members spread across all 50 states and US territories. Morale was high, positions were valued and opportunity abound. Today there are less than 97,000 members beat down by out-sourcing, no sourcing and self-service aisles. Bagger nation is on the run. Some in the bagger community have even reported being targeted by the IRS for their tips undergoing audits and backroom pressure. We have been blamed for everything from Global Warming to polluting landfills with paper and plastic. It’s outrageous. The biggest scheme going on these days are those crappy recycle bags the big store chains give out guilting customers away from classic paper bags. Stores charge you a buck each for these lousy bags and then you leave the damn thing in the car or house every freaking time you go to the store! Then the cashier looks at you like, “forget your bag again dumbass?”

Baggers deserve an opportunity to earn a living wage. Between the insults, the lack of appreciation and the pressure, we are finding solidarity with garbage men. Their industry too is under assault through automated garbage trucks with mechanical arms that are displacing the garbage truck back-enders. From Super Bagger to no bagger leaves one question — can the professional be rebuilt or is this one more loss to the American fabric that goes away like the milkman?

 

 

 

 

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