Lawn Mowing

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Lawn mowing by Sherwood Lawnmower 

When we were kids, everyone cut their own grass, at least those fortunate to live in a house with a yard. Learning how to cut the grass was a right of passage in most families. Some families had push manual two wheel mowers for small yards, others had the traditional four wheel gas push mower and the real avant-garde had visions of the future and they were breaking out electric mowers in the early 1970’s with their fancy extension cords dragged behind the mower pusher. Truth be told, those electric mowers sucked for the poor sap stuck dragging an extension cord throughout their yard dodging trees and bushes hoping the damn cord didn’t pop out of the socket as you stretched the cord to get to that last corner. There was some real navigation art to using these first generation electric mowers.

lawnmower2

To bag the grass or not to bag the grass, that is the question. Let me tell you something, if you are pushing an electric lawnmower, there is no way in hell you are going to want to bag the grass. Its bad enough you’re strapped with an extension cord to your ass, and now you have to bag the grass too? Not happening Jerry …

In many communities, lawn mowing is becoming a lost art. The right of passage and cutting the grass assignment to kids has been replaced by video games or little George can’t be tasked with getting his hands dirty. In the greater Washington DC Beltway Bubble our lawmakers, lobbyists and lawyers don’t do yard work, except in very few cases. The few that do are laughed at, mocked or talked about, and they are conservative. You see, here in the land where you spend other people’s money and ring up debt like air breathing, lawn mowing is for the lower class or illegal immigrants, not for the privileged class. Bush trimming, edging or raking leaves are tasks for others, not for lawmakers and elite takers. These complimentary tasks to lawn mowing are concepts to the Beltway high-end crowd but there are some reports that a few lawmakers, lobbyists and lawyers are taking grass cutting classes learning how to put gas in mowers, how to walk in a straight line in the their yard and even helping them trim a bush. One lawmaker I know has started a Saturday grass-cutting club where fellow hobbyists come over to his house and take turns cutting the front yard, while others watch in the shade drinking glasses of white or red wine to better understand the concept. They share war stories about how hard it was cutting grass when they were kids and how blessed they feel to spare their kids from this indignity. It’s a different day in America, isn’t it?

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Author: Guardian 6

Guardian 6 is at the ready: 1st General Order "I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved." 2nd General Order "I will obey my special orders and perform all of my duties in a military manner." 3rd General Order "I will report violations of my special orders, emergencies, and anything not covered in my instructions, to the commander of the relief."

One thought on “Lawn Mowing”

  1. The Beltway crowd is anti-grass because it has to be mowed thereby creating a carbon footprint. They ultimately would like it made illegal to have a lawn. I say when lawn mowing is made criminal, only criminals will have lawn mowers!

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