Category: Hater

Save Keith Olbermann’s Cats!

 By BlackJack Pershing, @PershingSoldier on Parler, @PershingSoldier on Clouthub, @BlackJackpershing on Gab

Dateline: April 12, 2021 6:30. Missouri Territory 

 

“One cat just leads to another.”

  • Ernest Hemmingway

“Keith Olbermann is a Big Dummy”

  • Sylvester the Cat

 

The Uyghurs in China are suffering.  Keith Olbermann doesn’t care.

 

Human trafficking at the southern border.  Keith Olbermann doesn’t care.

 

BLM and Antifa unleash all manner of violence and depravity on the inner cities of the US.  Keith Olbermann doesn’t care.

 

Millions of abortions in the US every year.  Keith Olbermann applauds.

 

Myanmar/Burma is once again sinking into a Coup.  Keith doesn’t know because he’s watching The View.

 

Russia about to annex Ukraine.  Keith Olbermann is in the hot tub with Adam Schiff and Eric Swalwell, about to pop the cork on some Andre’ Pink Champagne.  Oblivious.

 

There is another tragedy unfolding that you may not be aware of.  The tragedy of Keith Olbermann’s 19 cats.

If you followed Blackjack Pershing’s now erased Twitter account, you would have known that Keith’s 19 cats took advantage of the easily manipulated mail in ballots to vote for Donald J. Trump behind the back of their diapered, bedwetting owner.  Fact.

 

The situation has now become more dire.  Help is needed.  Fellow patriots its time for those of you who are animal lovers to step up.  Also – those of you that just hate depravity: step up.  We can’t look the other way.

 

What is going on, you ask?  We have established the following information as factual based on insider information and several phone calls made on Keith’s remaining land line by the cats while he’s been at work.

 

    • All 19 cats, who are MAGA, are forced to listen to MSNBC which Keith leaves on when he is not at home.  This is a cruel, depraved situation.
  • Keith has given a several of the cats names which reflect his social network, and the so named cats are very upset:
  • ‘Rosie’ is not happy about her name and wants it known that she is not over weight
  • ‘Whoopie’ is in a constant bad mood due to her name, and its amplified when Keith watches The View, especially when he cheers out loud for that sorry cast.
  • ‘Barack’ feels his kitty manhood has been insulted and wants the world to know that his birth country has never been in question
  • ‘Dr Jill’ is probably the most pissed off at this point, as she’s only 2 years old and doesn’t want people to think she’s an old bag
      • ‘Bernie’ is not a commie and wants the world to know.
  • Next, the cats are forced to watch Keith parade around his apartment in various shocking outfits that range from a bunny rabbit ‘furry’ outfit to a full blown Joan Crawford cross dressing effort.  Yes the cats can run and hide but the first sighting is always burned into their memories.  Unfair!
  • Food theft.  Keith is known to be lazy.  When not screaming on social media about some imagined vast right wing conspiracy, he doesn’t do that much and spends much of his time on the couch watching his heroes: Brian Stelter, Anderson Cooper, Cher, George Stephanopoulos, Jake Tapper, Ru Paul and Lady Gaga.   He often forgets to get groceries and has routinely dipped into the reserves of Fancy Feast and Friskies, and has gone through most of the treats.  Needless to say the cats are pissed.  They wonder if the litter boxes are the next target of this lazy lout.
    • Keith likes to belt out Broadway show tunes when no one is around but the cats.  His faves are melodies from Wicked, Love Story and Phantom of the Opera.  Let’s just say Keith is not a singer and the cats have had it.
  • Emotional abuse.  Keith talks to the cats as if they are sympathizers to his causes.
  • Through his tears on January 6th, he could not see the 19 angry sets of eyes that wanted to point out to him that Trump was miles away and that the so called insurrectionists were let into the Capitol and that there were BLM/Antifa activists embedded in the crowd.
  • While Keith yelled at the TV during the so called debates last November, his 19 cats knew the liberal ‘moderators’ had clearly taken sides.
  • While Keith yaps about children at the border, his cats know that open borders are all about Democrat subversion and illegal voting.
  • Even the 3 Siamese cats in the crew of 19 are sick of Keith’s sympathizing and constant excuses for China, to include his assertion that the China virus started in the US.  Outrageous!
  • Have there been attempts to negotiate?  Yes, but apparently Keith regards constant kitty dumps on his bed and pillows as signs of affection.

So, fellow patriots, I ask for your help.  We must demand that Keith Olbermann free his 19 cats, all of whom are MAGA.  We will need foster parents for the cats, adopters and possibly and Special Ops team to raid the apartment where  they are captive.

 

Final note, while 7 of the cats lean Libertarian, the other 12 have fully aligned with the Freedom Caucus.

 

I welcome your comments below.  Its time.

BJP

 

 

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Whoopee Cushion

by Blackjack Pershing                   Dateline:     20 July 2018
Missouri Territory

Before apps, video games, virtual reality and Pokemon go, previous generations enjoyed forms of entertainment that involved actual physical objects. This may be hard to believe but it’s true. An entertaining and jolly artifact of former times is something known as a whoopee cushion’.

Found in stores like Spencer Gifts, a place known for selling gag gifts and sometimes R rated items, the whoopee cushion was a rubber device that made a sound similar to human flatulence when quickly deflated – usually when someone unexpectedly sat on one. A prankster would secure a whoopee cushion, inflate it and then surreptitiously place it where the victim would be placing their derrière. As the victim sat down and the gaseous noise erupted, great laughter would erupt. Ahhh – the good old days.

But wait – there is a new Whoopee Cushion that has arrived, under a different spelling. It’s now called ‘Whoopi Goldberg’. The newer version is far more vulgar and explosive than the more innocent rubber version. New Whoopi explodes in unreasonable and fantastical liberal tirades with fake facts and intolerant accusations. Human Flatulence.

Whoopi ‘let loose’ on a superior foe, Judge Jeanine Pirro, on a recent episode of the brain inflammation known as ‘The View’. If you remember the Harpy scene from famous stop action film Jason and the Argonauts, you have seen the view. No need to tune in. Anyway, Whoopi harkened back to POTUS’s initial campaign announcement speech to claim he besmirched all Mexicans, among others. He did not. She held forth in hysterics. She made very smelly noise. The good Judge had to zing her with facts. Whoopi Cushion couldn’t handle it. She melted down. Stormed off. Told the Judge to leave. She exemplified Human Flatulence. Just a guess – but the notoriety of this incident is helping the Judge sell her new book too. So you might say in addition to the passing of wind, Whoopi Cushion also – how shall we say it delicately? – defecated on her own self! Yes. That’s it.

What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a smaller metaphor for the left in this nation. They have become their own religion of sorts, enforcing orthodoxy and compliance in a way that would make the Mullahs of the Islamic State blush. Toxic accusations, angry rhetoric, demonization, and hysteria are their currency. Like the house in the movie Polterguest, at the end of the story, all of the badness, the grotesqueness, the rottenness, and rancid foundations of it all are about to collapse in and implode. Keep watching. It is inevitable. The American people have become far more capable of detecting BS of late. It’s over for the Stalinist Left. As for Whoopi Cushion, get some air freshener and be prepared to occasionally light a candle to get the smell out of the room…….

Watch where you sit, my friends…..

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Top Ten List: Why they Leak

Dateline: August 4th, 2218 hours, 2017

Since the election and inauguration of President Trump, leaking classified and sensitive information has been occurring at unprecedented levels. This week actual transcripts of the President’s conversations with Mexico and Australian Presidents were leaked and published by the Washington Post. Forget about the news media using discretion and better judgment refraining from publishing these conversations containing sensitive information. Quite the contrary, it is an opportunity for the “mainstream news media” and the self appointed ruling class to continue their assault against the Trump presidency.

So after extensive research and consultation, the 53rd Regiment has identified the Top Ten list of why government and intelligence officials are leaking classified and sensitive information.

#10. Loyalty and protecting American classified information is passé.

#9. Many of the leakers called home to Mom and asked for permission while waiting in line at Starbucks to get their first latte of the day.

#8. Leakers have fascist tendencies and believe in a supreme leader versus freedom and elected representatives.

#7. Non-disclosure statements and laws are for the average American, the little people. Leakers know better then us. The non-disclosure statement they signed is just paper.

#6. Leakers are scumbags, cowards and they got trophies too just like real winners.

#5. They are actively colluding with our enemies by sharing national policy and state secrets using the American media as their cover.

#4. The Democratic Party Resistance movement; they choose to obstruct, obfuscate and bring forth false narratives instead of respecting the will of the American people and the laws of the land.

#3. President Obama holdovers, leftovers and appointees that fundamentally disagree with President Trump policies, initiatives and his agenda work each day  to sandbag Trump and the United States of America.

#2. Pure hatred for President Trump.

#1. Lack of respect and disregard for the 62,984, 825 Americans that voted for President Trump

 

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Takedown!

Dateline 53rd Regiment News

February 16th, 2017

Fake news, manufactured protests, collusion between the media and political class rejecting the will of the American people electing President Trump. Mass hysteria from the “main stream” media; ridicule from the late night comic shows and incoherence from Hollywood showcase who the highly intolerant elites are and how they place themselves above the rest of us, will of the people be damned.

What is perhaps even more discouraging is the notion that intelligence professionals with the support of some senior leaders in Intelligence Agencies are intentionally leaking information to embarrass or disparage their President. This is treasonous and arguable without precedent. All intelligence professionals sign non-disclosure statements and it is a crime to leak or share intelligence with people who do not have the proper clearance,  access or need to know. This is not in America’s interests. While these few individuals bring great discredit to their agencies and themselves, they are undermining American leadership, emboldening our enemies and behaving in a criminal manner.

What does all this mean less than one month into the Trump presidency? The Alt-Left, Never Trump Movement has achieved their first “takedown” or kill of a Trump Administration official by creating false narratives and exaggerating a picture of a relationship between General Flynn and the Russians. General Flynn wasn’t born yesterday and as a career intelligence professional, he knows much more than you and I ever will on how our adversaries operate. And, oh, just a few years ago, the Hillary Clinton Russian Reset “that was easy” button was praised by the same media. Hmmmm. 

With the resignation of LTG Retired Mike Flynn, Trump’s National Security Advisor, there is glee in the swamp. The plotting to undermine the Trump Presidency is now emboldened in the DC swampland but as Trump fully recognizes, he’s not running a popularity contest. As a CEO, he’s in the results business. Let’s hope for the sake of America, he can remain laser focused on what ills America and not be detracted by the manufactured Kabul of negativity that is the Alt-left, main stream media, political class and for-hire-protestors funded by Soros and other extremists.

Finally, keep the faith America. There are quite a few big gators in the swamp that have grown quite large after 30 or 40 years in DC. It is going to take a while to remove them and return them to the areas they migrated from before they made DC their permanent home like a major rat infestation. President Trump is on the hunt and has many, many Swamp People willing to help drain the swamp, Bigly!

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Top 10 List: Why 50+ Democratic Congressman are not attending the Presidential Inauguration

10. They’d rather attend a protest rally then help the country unite behind our new President

9. They don’t believe in celebrating our democracy and a peaceful transfer of power

8. They’ve been too depressed to go outside since the election

7. They haven’t showered since November 8th, 2016

6. Setting the right example has never really been their thing

5. They are scared of tweets and tweedy bird

4. It’s not a safe space

3. Their feelings got hurt so they took their “Respect the Office & Constitution Ball” and went home crying to Mommy

2. They didn’t get the memo that Secretary Clinton is attending

  1. They don’t respect American voters and their decision

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Candid Conversation with Kaepernick

Dateline October 2nd, 2016

Kaepernick: Coach, why did you bench me? Why I am not starting?

Coach: Colin, I’ve shown great restraint not cutting you but I haven’t ruled it out. Candidly, ownership doesn’t understand leadership in the NFL. The NFL doesn’t  respect leadership or the sacrifice of American warriors that have given much for this country. It’s all about the money and political correctness. Colin, you put yourself before others. You disrespect the colors of our nation. This game is not about you, your beliefs and whatever causes you believe in. The operative thing you need to understand is that this is a game, a football game. This is not an opportunity for you to put yourself before the team. In my book Colin, leaders put the team before self. You have failed this simple test. You are a very selfish individual that fails to understand what a privileged life you have been given as an American citizen and an NFL football player.

Kaepernick: But coach, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media in an exclusive interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

Coach: Colin, what did you do in the off-season? Where did you spend your time? What inner city communities did you help?

Kaepernick: Well I was rehabbing in the off-season. I chose to start this protest during the start of the season.

Coach: Understand Colin, yup, noticed. My assessment is because over the past several months your relationship with management has turned sour. You requested a trade last spring, which never came, big mistake by ownership. I would have released your ass. You also spent most of the offseason rehabilitating from operations to your left shoulder. You lost the starting job toBlaine Gabbert last season and I see this as one more example of poor leadership on your part validating your removal as a starter. You are really just acting out like a petulant child. You had no idea that you would attract a broader element of malcontents that failed to learn the history of this country, the lessons of Martin Luther King and the blessings of being an American. Ya see Colin, even a pile of crap attracts maggots. You have a whole infestation of maggots following your every move. 

Kaepernick: Coach, you are disrespecting my beliefs. I have a right to kneel.

Coach: You do. I have a right to bench your ass and if the 49ers had ownership that valued our country before themselves,  you’d be released. I’m disgusted with you Colin. No one wants a selfish, me- first player that doesn’t know our country’s history or appreciate it. You haven’t done one damn thing to improve the conditions for those suffering from poor economic conditions or violence. Actions speak well beyond taking a knee while others are rendering honors to our flag. Don’t confuse what you are doing with helping fix these challenges. You have set a very poor example for American youth. I’m disgusted by you!

Get the hell out of my office and cement the clipboard to your ass!

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Coulrophobia & The Dark Clowns

Dateline September 28th, 2016

Here come the clowns! This is no laughing matter. Gone are the funny, happy clowns of yesteryear … Ronald McDonald, Bozo and Pogo. These new clowns are dark, nameless and lurk in the shadows.

Who are they? Where do they come from? Why do they prowl in the shadows carrying black ballons and evil grimaces? Who are they after? These are the questions gripping the nation as episodes of evil looking clowns initially spotted in Green Bay, WI and Columbia, SC have spread to Virginia, Florida and Colorado. With 12% of adults experiencing some form of Coulrophobia (fear of clowns), this is no laughing matter as the dark clown epidemic spreads and begins to terrorize children and adults alike.

I was able to interview Dr. Alberto C. Humadanger, an emerging scholar on the dark clown phenomena. Our exchange is below.

Question: Dr. Humadanger, who are these dark clowns?

Answer: Guardian 6, what are they may be a more appropriate answer. Man or beast, or some combination thereof. There are several theories. Some believe they are aliens just trying to fit in. Others believes they are disgruntled democratic congressman and mayors that lost their seat in congress.  Others believe they are democratic aliens that lost their elections. This I will tell you, I simply don’t know. We have not been able to secure any DNA samples.

Question: The phenomena seems to be growing. There have been dark clown sightings in three more states this week. How are these dark clowns manifesting themselves?

Answer: We have a disaster on our hands, this I will tell you. The federal government has underestimated the threat. I recommended a special task force to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). These clowns (no pun intended) have blown me off laughing at the suggestion. They don’t get it. It starts off with one, two, three dark clowns and now we have platoons of dark clowns spreading across the country like a virus. There are bad things going on here, very bad. We better get tough.

Question: Do you have advice for people who encounter a dark clown?

Answer: I do, run like hell! Get the hell out of harm’s way. Don’t look back at them either. Don’t make eye contact with them. That would be bad, very bad. Incredibly bad. Scientists and doctors now agree that their power lies in not knowing who or what lies behind the excessive makeup, red nose and hair color. Some believe those black balloons are loaded with toxins. Don’t pop them, whatever you do, don’t pop the balloons. Chemical laced black balloons, very bad.

Question: Have you experienced one of these dark clowns? If so, can you tell us what happened?

Answer: Yes, but I don’t like to talk about it. It’s why I fear them today. This I can tell you, they smell awful, like rotten eggs. They have terrible teeth and breadth. They have super strength; this is why I lean toward the democratic alien theory in terms of what they are. Strong, these dark clowns have super human strength. Beyond scary, they make me nauseous. I was attacked by a dark clown 12 years ago. I have studied them since this attack. It was a vicious attack. I can’t talk about the details. Can’t do it. It was bad, very bad. The estimate of Coulrophobia being 12% among adults is low, very low. Look, I think it is close to 50%. After seeing one of these beasts in person, it’s 100%. It changed me, I can’t go there. I’m not the same. [Dr. Humadinger is whispering now … “I’m a changed man seeing this thing. It burns. It burns in my memory. The horror, the pain.”}

… and with that Dr. Humadinger ended the interview with a look of fear on his face. As he walked out he turned and said to me in a Pup whisper, “fear the dark clowns. Don’t take the bait. It’s worse than I thought.”

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Kaepernuckle-Head

by Echo Zulu 21

Ignorant. That’s what San Francisco 49ers 2nd string quarterback Colin Kaepernick is.   2nd string to someone who is typically referred to as “Sunshine”, the 2nd string quarterback in the movie Remember the Titans…but I digress. Colin Kaepernick has recently refused to stand and acknowledge the national anthem, which is played before every NFL pre-season, regular season and playoff game. He’s refused to do so in some sort of nonsensical opposition to how American society oppresses people of color and most specifically, our law enforcement key oppressors amongst us.

What kind of parking lot does Kaepernick park in before every practice or game? Is it a parking deck, or a regular lot? No. It’s a secure lot that requires identification in order to enter. Who secures the lot? Police and stadium contracted security. Law enforcement, paid to ensure that he and his vehicle are safe.

Who escorts the VIP players and coaches to the locker room on the field? Law enforcement. They make sure the players are not harassed, attacked or bothered and that they can make it back on the field the next week to do their jobs. Seems oppressive, Kaepernick.

Kaepernick has the opportunity to go and play a sport for a living in our free country; it would appear Life Is Good. Guess not. Our freedoms are protected by said law enforcement and the United States Military. Both organizations are at war with domestic threats and terrorists and the US Military is still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan while the average American like Kaepernick have no idea about this because it’s not on their “socials”. Kaepernick just joined the likes of Carlos DelGado and Muhammed Ali and in doing so, he actually isolated a population of selfless people who sacrifice for the good of his well-being. Hypocrisy is his own personal oppression.

“If you don’t love it, leave it”. That’s what Merle Haggard said and he specifically calls out “the hippies in San Francisco” in the song Fightin’ Side of Me. I pledge allegiance to the Flag (and applaud Hag!). Suggestion: figure out an innovative way to bring social issues to light and don’t be bullied into a stance.  Michael Bennett learned this lesson. This may be a futile point in the near future anyway. Kaepernick, in all likelihood, will be listening to “Oh Canada” and looking at a Maple Leaf shortly on cut day. Go Argonauts!

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